Shades of Grey
by Accio-Underwear
Summary: After the incident, most of the town of South Park was almost completely deserted. Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski intend to keep order among the remaining townspeople, but when Kenny McCormick comes, not only do they lose order, but one loses his heart.
1. Bonfire

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

* * *

Patches of brown overgrown grass peeked through the snow that covered the worn and untended streets of South Park, Colorado. Paint on houses was peeling and street lights flickered, some having burnt out years ago. A flickering, glowing orange hue could be seen in the main square of the small town as well as the faint noises of music and laughter.

Two figures warily walked down the darkened streets towards the square and apparent party. One was a tall young man, probably seventeen or eighteen, who was broad in the shoulders. His blue eyes were dull under dusty black hair. His brown leather covered hands gripped an old red duffle bag. His dark blue jeans and lighter blue jacket were covered in dust while his brown work boots dragged against the floor. A red and black hat, which was a bit childish with its red pom-pom hung out of his jacket pocket.

The other man, about three inches shorter but the same age, lugged a green backpack as well as two reusable shopping bags. Curled red hair stuck out from under his bright green ushanka which nearly matched his equally dull eyes. The shoelace of one of his black work boots kept whipping his olive colored cargo pants covered leg and his orange jacket was slathered in mud. His hands, unlike the others, were bare and bleeding ever so slightly.

Both men were panting as they lugged their cargo towards the bonfire, earning loud cries of celebration. Three other young men approached them, taking their bags as two young women hugged them and dragged them over to a couch that had been dragged out of an abandoned home and pushed down to relax.

Drinks were handed to them, joyous yells were shouted and kudos was given. A boy, young and looking as though he was just reaching the age of puberty, leapt and flung himself into the redhead's arms, nearly crying.

"Kyle, what took you so long?!"

The redhead smiled softly, hugging the younger boy before ruffling his hair playfully, "Sorry, Ike, we ran into some trouble."

The girl standing near Kyle's companion gasped and looked at the black haired man, "Stan, did you get hurt?!" She asked in a worried and demanding tone.

"Don't worry, Wendy, I'm fine." Stan Marsh reassured, "They just took our guns and pushed us around a bit is all."

The brown haired man holding one of the bags snorted, "I told you guys that it'd be better to take some of the crappier guns, didn't I?"

Kyle laughed slightly, "Yeah, Clyde, you did. Good thing we listened to you, huh?"

"Oh, Kyle, your hands are bleeding!" A buxom curly haired blonde rushed to Kyle's side with her first aid kit, obviously she'd been waiting for them to return, and examined his injuries.

Ike wrinked his nose and ran a hand through his black hair, "You smeared blood in my hair?!" He asked in annoyance.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," Kyle replied, a slight chuckle in his voice before he winced due to the rubbing alcohol Bebe started using, "Thanks Bebe…"

She offered him a smile and continued her work, Clyde joining her side soon after, "You didn't….you didn't happen to see…" He asked; his voice slightly cracking. Bebe reached out her hand and squeezed his hand ever-so-slightly before beginning to wrap Kyle's hands.

Kyle glanced at Stan, whose eyes were fixated on his lap while Wendy hugged him from the side. He then looked at Clyde, who's eyes shone with a glimmer of doubtful hope, "I'm sorry, Clyde. We looked but no sign of Craig."

The brunette nodded, his eyes seeming to become glossy as he gave Kyle a pat on the shoulder and slowly walked over to a blonde twitching boy and the only black kid in the group. Kyle was pretty sure he shared the bad news because the blonde shouted "Oh Jesus, he's dead or some gang's bitch! Gah!" and the other two had to calm him down.

"It always hurts to see them like that," Bebe said quietly, following Kyle's gaze. "I keep wishing Clyde would give up and try to forget about Craig but," She glanced at Kyle again, a soft smile on her face, "He wouldn't be who he is then, would he?"

"No, I suppose not." The redhead mused before flexing his hand, curiously testing how much ability he had with the bandages on. "Thanks again, Bebe."

She offered him a smile, quickly glancing at Stan, who's lips were glued to Wendy's and rolled her eyes before packing up her first aid kit, "I'll get you guys some of the food. Just rest and try not to move too much, okay?" She gestured to Kyle's side when he gave her a questioning look and he quickly understood.

Ike had fallen asleep.

Bebe stood up and went off to fetch the promised food and Kyle sighed, leaning back to stare up at the smoky sky.

Almost six years since it happened. Kyle honestly couldn't remember what really occurred but he knew it had affected at least the whole country. Small towns, at least the ones nearby, have mostly banded together and tried to move one with life but plenty of people, most of the adults of South Park for example, resorted to looting and lawlessness while in a state of panic.

The children, who are quite used to fending for themselves while their parents went and did stupid things, managed to carry on and make the town the best it could be without its trained professionals. He wasn't sure how it happened, but Stan and Kyle became leaders of sorts.

A couple years later, nothing got better but nothing got worse. Then Craig Tucker disappeared. There were a few leads but they never gave the search parties enough to work with. Somehow, though, it had managed to strengthen the bond between the remaining town residents. Everyone moved into closer homes so they weren't as spread out.

Bebe came back with two plates of chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. Stan managed to detach himself from Wendy and nodded his thanks before greedily digging in. Kyle offered Bebe a smile as he too took his plate, eating slower than his best friend in order to actually taste and appreciate the food. She smiled back, lightly kissing Stan and his cheeks, as well as a kiss on Ike's forehead before turning to join Clyde, Token and Tweek.

Kyle and Stan eventually finished and someone, Kyle couldn't remember who, snatched their plates away. Wendy had disappeared and Stan shifted, moving to lay his head on Kyle's lap and heave a relaxed sigh.

"Dude, do you realize how gay this looks?" Kyle asked in amusement.

"Dude, did you not just see Wendy and I go at it?" Stan countered in amusement as he closed his eyes. "Now, whether you're gay or not is another story."

Kyle's face heated up as he slightly shoved his friend, "I'm not gay, Stan!" He snapped bitterly.

The black haired man laughed in amusement, "Okay, okay, you're not gay." He agreed before staring up at the redhead curiously, "Kyle?"

"Yes, Stan?" The redhead asked in exasperation.

"Do you think things will ever get normal again?"

Kyle peered down at Stan, who, like Clyde, looked hopeful. Kyle smiled weakly, "Yeah Stan, I'm sure they will." He replied, using his sleeve to wipe the dirt off of his Super Best Friend's face.

Yes, they were coming off as painfully gay.

Stan was right though. Kyle certainly didn't take any interest in girls. He certainly noticed the way their hips moved when they walked and he was quite aware of cleavage but he just saw it as that. Hips and boobs. They weren't amazing or arousing like the other men found them.

He'd be fine being gay if he knew he was gay. He unfortunately had the same problems with the same sex. He'd seen Stan and some of the other boys naked plenty of times when they were changing or, when the situation was still new and everyone stuck in groups, they used the school locker rooms to shower. It's not that Stan and the others weren't good looking guys; Kyle just simply didn't feel anything for them.

He was actually starting to think he was asexual.

Problem was, though, he still had his horny moments.

Kyle sighed, forcing himself out of his thoughts when he heard some sniggering. Blinking, he looked up and saw Token point to his lap while the others laughed amongst themselves. The redhead frowned before looking down and rolling his eyes in exasperation.

Not only did he have Ike leaning against him, fast asleep and clinging slightly to his arm, but now Stan was sleeping in his lap, his face comfortably nuzzled in Kyle's stomach. The redhead was turning into quite the Mac Daddy, much to everyone else's amusement.

Gesturing to Wendy, who was still giggling when she came over, he carefully lifted Stan's head from his lap. She gently pushed Ike to lean to the other side as Kyle quickly slid out from his position and she hastily took his spot. There was another series of quiet laughs as they finished. After all, this had been happening quite often and Kyle and Wendy had perfected the art of seat trading.

He flashed a smile of thanks before kneeling over his little brother and shook him lightly, "Ike." He whispered. "Ike, wake up."

The younger boy moaned and blinked blurrily as his brother gently shook him some more, "Kyle?" He asked tiredly.

"C'mon, Ike, we're going home." Kyle whispered, turning so his back was facing his brother, hands out still.

Ike practically fell against Kyle's back, wrapping his arms loosely around his older brother's neck as he pressed his cheek on his shoulder, his eyes beginning to droop. Kyle stood up, holding Ike just under the knees and maintaining a slightly hunched position. He glanced at the other kids and offered a smile, "I'll see you all tomorrow morning. Is it cool if you unpack the stuff?"

Clyde waved Kyle off, a grin on his face, "Already done, dude." He replied coolly, "Just take your brat brother home."

Kyle grinned back and nodded a goodnight to his friends before shifting his brother slightly and carried the younger boy back to their home. Despite the new dangers of the world, South Park was a place where doors remained unlocked. After a few attempts of opening the door, Kyle managed to actually enter their home and carry Ike to his bedroom.

He tucked his baby brother into bed, briefly kissing the boy's forehead (an act Ike would smack him for if he were awake) and tiredly went to his own room. The effects of his journey were finally starting to wear on him. He didn't turn on his light since the house was close enough to the bonfire's glow and he stumbled into bed, kicking off his shoes and fighting off his clothes as soon as he lay down. Once he was stripped down to his boxers, he fought his covers around him before finally glancing to his nightstand.

The picture in the frame on his nightstand was old. About seven years old actually. Stan was holding up a football proudly, Kyle forgot why, and he stood next to his best friend, grinning widely. He was completely unaware of the sniggering Eric Cartman next to him or that Kenny McCormick was in mid flying tackle in the background.

After that shot was taken, Kyle had a bloody nose, Cartman was laughing his fatass off, Stan was pale and asking desperately if Kyle had to go to the hospital then begging that he not go, and Kenny was showing mixed giggles and concern as he forced the redhead to lean his head forward, using a tissue from his pocket.

"_Heh, dude, Kyle, I'm sorry," Another giggle on the blonde's part, "I honestly thought you knew I was coming. Fatass-"_

"'_Ay!"_

"_Told me you knew."_

_Kyle glanced up from his, and Kenny's, bloody hands to meet blue eyes while blinking at the tears that forced themselves out, "its fine, Kenny," He assured weakly, studying his friend's face. _

_Kyle never really got to see Kenny that closely, and even know, the boy was hiding most of his face due to that damn parka. The redhead was constantly resisting the urge to rip the damn hood off the other boy's head. Kyle simply didn't understand why he always felt this urge. The few times he did see Kenny's face, he always found the boy interesting to look at. Not that Kenny looked bad or anything, which was actually the reason Kyle always looked at him. He didn't look bad at all. _

_Kenny snapped Kyle out of his thoughts with a chuckle, "Careful now, Kyle, you're getting a bit too queer for me."_

Kyle briefly remembered blushing after Kenny said that to him. Now, several years later, he still didn't understand why his face had heated up. Not that it mattered now. Kenny and his family split once the whole apocalyptic…thing happened and Cartman seemed to disappear off the face of the earth as well. His mother, Liane, died during the riots though.

Kyle sighed at the thought, looking at the picture again. "G'night you guys. Be safe." He muttered before shoving his face in his pillow for a night of much needed sleep.


	2. Tin House

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_I'm trying to write a chapter a day while I'm not allowed to work. Be somewhat productive, you know? =3_

* * *

Blue eyes roamed the sadly full bar which was filled mostly with underage teenagers. He walked tiredly to the counter, cigarette casually hanging out of his mouth as the painfully cliché leather duster bumped into the back of his legs with each step. He flashed a smile at the bartender, a woman whose hair was too high and shirt was too low, bright red lipstick and cheap perfume he could smell before he even entered the building.

"Afternoon," He greeted as she batted her thick eyelashes at him.

"How can a help a," She eyed him up and down, "Fine gentleman like yourself?" She asked, leaning forward, just in case he didn't see her obviously present breasts.

"Well," He adjusted his old trucker hat, brushing back some of his blonde hair, took a drag of his cigarettes, tugged up his pants and pulled out his gun, the barrel pointing straight at the woman, "I 'spose you can gimme all your loot."

There was a series of screams, first at the fact that this strange new man was pointing a gun at the boobalicious bartender and then when the door burst open with another man, about his age of seventeen or eighteen, wearing an old blue aviator hat, which was rather strange for this weather, and similar duster while holding two rather intimidating guns in each hand.

"Dude, what's taking so long?" He demanded. "Our other guy's been worrying his ass off, and you know how he gets…I can't fucking stand it."

The first man ignored him and gave the horrified woman a smack in the head with his open palm, "Oi, just gimme the fucking loot and I'll leave." Shaking, she hastily opened the cash register and shoved the money in the duffle bag the black haired man tossed to her. "The safe too." She let out a terrified sob as she unlocked the safe under the counter and piled money into the bag. He lifted it, wrinkling his nose at how empty it still was, "Some of your best booze too," He added, sounding a bit like a customer at a butcher shop that a robber.

A man, he looked to be in his early thirties stood up and raised a gun aiming it at the one demanding the money, obviously shaking, "N-Now…we don't want any trouble," He started, eyeing the first man.

Blue eyes met the man's worried black, "You don't want to be a hero." He stated in a calm and easy tone before looking back to the bartender. "It's not the smart thing to do, and I'd rather you sit down."

The older man, hand still shaking moved to pull the trigger but before he could complete the action, the blonde in the trucker hat had shot him easy in the head before aiming back at the bartender without a blink. The older man fell, dead, earning a series of horrified screams.

"Don't forget something for the getaway driver," The second man reminded, keeping his eyes on the now panicking customers.

"Oh, yeah, thanks man," Blue eyes settled on the food selection, "Uhm…I'll have those sandwiches, some cookies and that cake…" He glanced back at his comrade, who gave a nod, and looked back at the woman, "Oh, and milk." She gave him an odd look but did as she was told, still shaking and crying. Once the bag was full, he grabbed it, gave a wink and, with his comrade, backed out of the bar, "'Twas a pleasure folks. Have a good rest of the day now, you hear?"

Before anything could happen, he and his cohort ran to a waiting but running old school bus, climbing in hastily before the driver, a soft and almost feminine looking blonde man about the same age as them, gave them a slightly pained look pulled out onto the road and sped off.

The school bus was old and a faded yellow. The seats near the back were ripped out and three cots were bolted to the floor in their place, as well as a mini fridge, a table that sat between two seats, one flipped around to make a booth, and several miscellaneous things they didn't really need. They also each had their own personal trunk in which they kept their personal possessions at the end of their cot and sheets hung from a pulley system between the cots incase they wanted their own space. It was a sad attempt at a moving home but it worked for the three boys just fine.

After catching their breaths, the two gun wielding young men tug into the bag, the blonde hair blue eyed boy holding out a sandwich for their annoyed looking driver. "Gosh, Kenny," He started, taking the sandwich, "When are we gonna settle down and make a honest living like you promised?"

"In time, Butters," Kenny replied, "In time."

Butters pouted but took a bite of his sandwich, glaring at the road intently. "Where are we headin' to anyway, fellas?"

Kenny glanced at their third party member, who was stuffing a cooking into his mouth, "We _are_ in Colorado, you know…" He stated quietly. "Whattya say, Craig?"

The black haired young man heaved a tired sigh after he swallowed the cookie, "You really wanna fuck South Park over?" He asked with a slight look of disinterest on his face.

"Yeah," Kenny shrugged, "It'll be our last hit and then we all can settle down in our little redneck bus and try to live good honest lives." He glanced at Butters, who seemed rather pleased at the idea; God knows how long the little bugger had wanted to do this.

"I don't know, Kenny," Craig replied, "A lot of shit can backfire on this one…"

Kenny took off his hat, it was an old red trucker hat with a faded yellow rectangle containing the word 'Scotch' boldly in black, "Don't worry," He replied, wiping his forehead on his sleeve, "Whoever's left in South Park doesn't matter anymore."

Craig leaned back in his bus seat, watching Kenny carefully, "But you don't even know who's left." He replied.

"Yeah," Butters chimed in as he licked his fingers from the sandwich, "There could still be someone we sorta kinda care about."

Kenny snorted and handed the other blonde the milk to drink, "Trust me, we knew smart people, they'dve gotten out of that hell hole."

Craig studied his companion for a moment. He'd been with Kenny and Butters since he'd been fourteen, almost fifteen. He remembered the experience easily. He'd heard a noise outside his house and, with a bat in hand, he checked outside to see what had been going on. The next thing he knew, he was waking up, tied to five other boys and going on sale for perverted old men. Some of which he recognized from that NAMBLA experience in that childhood.

_A flash of orange leapt up on the stage of the theater where the boys were tied together. The crowd gasped and seconds later the far left of the building burst into flames with a roar. The figure in orange stomped on the stage and the trap door lifted, revealing a large eyed blonde boy. _

_Craig suddenly recognized Butters and it didn't take long to realize the boy in orange was Kenny. Kenny tugged out a Swiss army knife and cut at the thin rope, freeing each boy, who then, with Butters' help, escaped through the trap door. _

"'_Sup, Craig?" He asked nonchalantly when he finally got to his former schoolmate._

"_Kenny? What the hell is going on?" Craig demanded as the blonde cut at his bonds and taking note of the red hat on the other boy's head._

"_Well, you see-" It was then that Kenny was flung against the wall, a crowd of men charging in on the boy, starting to beat him…or worse. Craig wanted to help him, but Butters was waving him over. _

"_Don't you worry about him, he'll be okay!" The gentler boy called, still looking painfully worried for his friend despite what he said._

_Craig moved to take a step towards the trapdoor but glanced back with a frown, "You go take care of those other guys," He called at Butters before reading straight into the crowd._

Kenny was so astonished after the night had ended, both boys bleeding and Craig earning a large scar on his back, that he'd happily invited the boy to join him and Butters. Craig agreed, completely siding with the blonde's idea of 'the world's a bitch; we'll help if help's needed but other than that, fuck 'em'.

"What if they didn't?" He finally asked his blonde friend.

Kenny snorted, leaning back in his own chair and pulling his hat down to cover his eyes. "No friends of ours were _that_ stupid." He replied. "Discussion's over. We're going to South Park. Butters, wake me when you're ready for a nap yourself."

"Aye Aye…uh…Kenny," Butters replied somewhat awkwardly.

The bus was filled with silence until Kenny started snoring quietly. Taking this as his cue, Craig peered around the wall that separated the driver's seat from the rest of the bus. "What do you think, Butters?"

The blonde quickly glanced at him before looking forward again nervously, "Gee, Craig, I figure since I was one-a the first to go on account of my parents packing up and runnin', you would know who's still there, seein' as you were the last to leave of the three of us." He rambled off. He glanced at the black haired boy again, "W-Who was there?"

This was generally taboo to talk about. Kenny expressed no interest in talking about it and Butters never asked, but had once explained to Craig that Kenny was too sad to talk about it. He unfortunately didn't go into detail.

Craig rubbed the back of his neck cautiously before casting Kenny another glance, "Stan, Kyle, Clyde, Token, Tweek….pretty much the whole gang." He replied quietly, watching Butters drive carefully.

Butters bit his lip, looking worried. "But…what if they're all still there?" He asked anxiously. "I don't wanna fuck over my friends!" He whined.

"Butters, Butter," Craig said in a hushed tone while reaching over and giving his shoulder a light squeeze, "Don't worry about it, okay? We are not going to fuck over our friends. And, we don't even know if they're still there. Maybe they did move on to a more populated town." He suggested soothingly.

Butters' hands tightened on the steering wheel, turning his knuckles even paler than they actually were, "Or….Or they were _already_ fucked over." He replied quietly, his eyes looking as though they were filling up with tears.

God, how many times today has Butters said the word 'fucked'? Too many, the blonde never should say such words, it simply something that didn't suit him. "Butters," Craig said, his voice filled with both annoyance and amusement, which seemed like a bit of an oxymoron to him, "Just use words like 'Hamburgers' okay?" He instructed, deciding to completely ignore the blonde's last statement.

"Y-Yeah, okay," Butters agreed, sniffling, "I just can't control my foul mouth sometimes…"

Craig chuckled as he pulled off his hat and jacket. He then leaned forward again to peer at Butters, studying the blonde for a moment, "You look tired," He noted, "How about you take a nap, I'll drive."

"Gee, Craig, are ya sure? I don't wanna burden-"

"Just stop the damn bus, Butters."

"W-Well okay then…"

Butters stopped the bus, keeping the engine rumbling before he stumbled tiredly out of the seat and Craig patted the boy's back wholeheartedly. The dark haired boy watched as Butters, taking the milk with him, made his way first to the mini fridge to put the drink away, and then his cot, using the seatbelts the boys used when the bus was driving, and promptly fell asleep. Satisfied, Craig slid into the driver's seat, pulled the gear into drive and continued the trek to South Park.


	3. Happy Reunion

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_A week! A week! 8D And geez, I'm so nervous about later today. I find out if I'll be unemployed or not! _

* * *

Ike was already sitting at the kitchen table wearing jeans and a light blue hoodie, still barefoot, when Kyle came downstairs the next morning. He was eating a bowl of oatmeal as South Park's only radio station, ran by Clyde and Token every morning from six to ten and every night at the same times. A large book sat in front of the boy's face as his eyes clearly read each word with mild interest.

Kyle recognized it as one of their father's, bless his soul, law books. A rather thick book as well. Kyle also knew that his younger brother had read the book five times through already. "Gee, Ike, don't you ever get sick of reading that book?" He asked.

The preteen looked up at his older brother and looked back at the book, "Yeah," He replied, "But…just because things are the way they are doesn't mean we have to completely give up on the justice system, right?" He wrinkled his cute little nose slightly and looked at his brother, "Besides, all that's left in the library that I haven't read are romance novels and smut. And you won't let me read those yet."

Kyle chuckled and sat down at the table after starting a new kettle of water for his own oatmeal. "Well, there's a reason I won't let you read those," He replied with a look of amusement on his face.

Ike shot him a slightly sour look, "I already know about sex, Kyle. I _am_ surrounded by a bunch of teenagers all the time." He rolled his eyes and glanced back at his book, "If I have to hear Clyde ask Bebe 'So, how's about we start on that whole 'repopulation' thing?' one more time, I think I'm going to cut his balls off." He muttered.

"Ball," Kyle corrected absently, reaching into a bowl on the table and grabbing himself an apple.

"What?" The black haired boy asked, the wheels obviously turning in his head and leading to the look of disgust on his face, "Ewww, don't tell me about that." He snapped, "I don't even _wanna_ know how _you_ know."

The redhead snorted, giving his younger brother a playful shove. He ran his hands through his messy hair, messier than usual actually and combing that much bed head was a bitch. He hadn't changed his clothes at all actually, he was still in his boxers but he'd pulled a shirt on before coming downstairs. Ike always nagged at him that he was going to get sick and that he should be an example and not run around half naked. Kyle always found it amusing but did as his brother asked.

"Think you can give my hair a trim tonight?" He asked as he tugged on a red curl and letting it spring back immediately after he let it go.

"Mmhmm," Ike agreed with a slight nod before running a hand through his own messy black hair, "Not a problem, just as long as you trim my hair too, kay?"

"Yeah, sure thing. We'll make a night out of it even.," Kyle nodded, offering a smile to his little brother, before standing up and pulling off the now whistling kettle off of the stove. He made his oatmeal and sat back down, content with being able to sit and relax at home after three days of being out and having his life at stake.

Kyle continued to eat as Ike watched him, his dark eyes glued to his older brother's bandaged hands. "Do those hurt?" He asked cautiously.

Kyle examined his bandaged hands for a moment before shaking his head, "Not really, they ache a little though. I didn't get them from anything serious, the bags I was carrying were just heavy and the straps cut into my hands a little bit." He replied nonchalantly.

"Oh."

Kyle grimaced and stabbed at his breakfast with his spoon. He glanced at Ike out of the corner of his eye and saw the boy was still studying his hands while biting his bottom lip anxiously.

"And here's an old time favorite from Token's Flaming Pussies CD…" Clyde's voice cooed from the speaker, "And its going out from me to Bebe. How's about we work on that repopu-OW Token!"

A quick and loud knock startled the Broflovski boys and Ike jumped to his feet.

"I'll get it!" He called as he ran across the carpeted floor. He swung the door open and blinked as Tweek stood before him, the blonde shaking uncontrollably.

"Gah! I-Ike is Kyle home?!" He blurted.

Kyle was by his brother's side in seconds, a serious look set on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I-I was walking by the old M-McCormick house and – AH-" Tweek jumped, glancing around nervously before leaning towards Kyle, "The door was open and there was the sound of breaking glass inside." He informed, trembling, "Oh Jesus! What if it was the same guys who took Craig?! Or the gnomes?! OR THE GNOMES TOOK CRAIG! OH GOD!"

Kyle heaved a sigh as the blonde continued ranting. Tweek's paranoia led him to Kyle or Stan's door at least four times a week. And these visits generally ended in Tweek theorizing Craig's disappearance years ago. Someone in the McCormick house though…that was odd.

Kyle reached out and shook Tweek by the shoulders, "Tweek, dude, we don't even know if Craig was taken." He started calmly before glancing back at his little brother, "Ike, do you think you can take care of Tweek until I get back? Maybe get him some breakfast."

Ike sighed; it wasn't a sigh that sounded like he didn't want to deal with Tweek, because he honestly didn't mind. The black haired boy simply didn't like his brother's role as town protector. He didn't like that Stan did it either, after all, Kyle's best friend was practically another older brother to him, but he'd rather have Stan do it alone than with Kyle. He didn't want to lose the last of his family. "Yeah, sure thing, Kyle," he replied softly before taking Tweek's arm and dragging the babbling blonde off into the kitchen.

Kyle in turn bolted upstairs and into his room where he tugged on a clean pair of jeans, his socks and his jacket. He didn't bother to brush his hair as he tugged on his ushanka and boots. Pulling open his nightstand drawer, he grabbed his gun, making sure it was loaded and that the safety was on before stuffing it into his pants. It wasn't the smartest thing to do but he was in a rush.

"I'll be right back!" He called before running outside and jogging to the Marsh home. Thankfully for him, Stan still lived in that house and that he used to be Kenny's next door neighbor.

Why Tweek didn't go there, he'd never know.

Much to Kyle's surprise, Stan was already waiting for him outside his house when he arrived. "Ike called me," His friend explained, joining Kyle's side.

"He explained what Tweek told us?" Kyle asked, his eyes glancing uneasily to the McCormick residence, the door was open and there was obviously some noise coming from it.

"Yup," Stan replied, "Kid seems down about something though," He noted.

"I'll talk to him when we finish up with this." Kyle said, knowing full well that Ike was upset about his going off to fight bad guys. It was only a matter of time until they had this conversation, he was fully aware that his little brother didn't like his choice in occupation.

Stan nodded shortly as they both eased their way to the house. Tugging out their guns, they readied themselves to fire, just in case, and carefully made their way in. Nobody had been in the house since the McCormick's themselves; and already it was trashed due to Stuart and Carol's hasty packing before they ran. But now the home seemed more trashed than it should've been.

And there was loud cursing coming from the direction of Kenny's old room.

"Fucking aye, where did I fucking put it?!"

Silently making their way to the room, Stan glided by the door and pressed his back against the wall. Kyle did the same with the side they came from and the black haired man held up his fingers. One….two….three.

"Stop what you're doing and put your hands up where I can see them!" Stan shouted, as he and Kyle aimed their guns at the intruder.

Old dusty Playboys fell to the ground as the blonde man quickly raised his empty hands to the air, blue eyes round with surprise. "This _can't_ be for trespassing," He stated incredulously before his eyes began studying the two men before him. When he recognized them, his eyebrows raised momentarily before furrowing in concern, "What are you guys doing here anyway?" He asked.

Stan stood, slack jawed, as Kyle dropped his gun in surprise. They both looked at each other as if the confirm that they weren't insane and the other one was indeed laying eyes on a ghost of their past as well.

Kyle took a hesitant step forward, "K-Kenny?" He asked, a slight croak in his voice.

Kenny looked rather annoyed, "Kyle."

The next thing the blonde knew, arms were being flung around him and a body was nuzzled into his. Another body soon enough joined the fray and Kenny couldn't _not_ hug them back. They were, after all, his childhood friends and they obviously missed him. He'd have done the same thing if he were in their shoes. Though he doubted Stan and Kyle would live the life he lived. They were way too honorable to resort to crime and murder. He used to look up to them for that but now, now he wasn't really sure how he felt. They were obviously the justice in South Park if they were telling apparent trespassers to put their hands where they could see them.

Stan and Kyle grew quite a bit since their time apart. Stan, who was about the same height as the blonde, had the build of an athlete, broad shoulders and not an inch of his scrawny looking. Kyle, actually, covered the scrawny as he held a good two inches shorter than Stan and Kenny.

One of them, he wasn't sure who, was crying for God's sake. Probably Kyle, he always was the emotional one.

"Dude, Kenny," Kyle started as they pulled away; he was clearly wiping his slightly red eyes, "Where've you been?" He asked as a slight laugh bubbled out. Kenny noted that the redhead was _really_ happy about this.

"Yeah," Stan laughed and gave the bill of Kenny's hat an amused flick, "And what's up with wearing your Dad's old hat? Get tired of the parka?" He teased, earning another overjoyed laugh from Kyle.

"Oi, don't mock the hat, dude," Kenny scolded. He could've punched himself when a smile broke out on his face. His eyes flickered to Stan's hands and he found them empty, the black haired man's gun abandoned on the floor next to Kyle's. Kenny's smile grew ever-so-slightly. "I've been around," He replied with a shrug, "Pretty much hitting up all of the connected fourty-eight states."

"Oh, God, this is great," Kyle rambled happily, Kenny noted that the redhead still wore that loud green ushanka, "I mean…this is fucking fantastic!"

"I know, right?" Stan started his hands waving madly and Kenny noted that he didn't wear that dopey hat he wore as a kid, "This is totally fucking awesome, God, wait until _Wendy_ hears about this. She wasn't really a fan of Kenny's but she'll be so Goddamn excited anyway!"

"Oh, oh, and you know what else is awesome?" Kenny added with a joyful hop in his voice. Kyle and Stan looked at him with excited and expectant faces. The blonde, thankful he'd brought two guns with him, quickly tugged and spun them out, aiming at each man and wearing a grin that reached each ear, "Strip off your clothes and give me anything you've got of value!"


	4. Arrest

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park._

_I got laid off from my job. Right after I found out I got a raise without being told. I'm so sad now, but everyone got laid off but…_

_Six more days! Six more days! Yippee!_

* * *

Kenny McCormick had no idea how he ended up in this position. He was pressed; face first, against his old bedroom floor, an open Playboy to be precise since he could clearly see a nipple out of the corner of his eye, and his arm was being painfully twisted behind his back by his old childhood chum, Kyle Broflovski as his other old friend, Stan Marsh, kept a gun aimed at his head as he held out a pair of handcuffs for Kyle.

Kenny winced as Kyle tightly cuffed him before getting off. Kyle and Stan dragged the blonde boy to his feet and Kenny turned his head to glance back at them, noting that his hat fell off his head, "Can one of you get my hat?" He asked, studying their hurt and disappointed faces.

Stan begrudgingly picked up the hat, along with all the dropped guns and roughly shoved the hat back on Kenny's head. He was then just as roughly pushed out of his own childhood home and forced to walk with Stan and Kyle into town and towards the jailhouse. It almost seemed like it should've been a walk of shame since people poked their heads out of doors or peered out of windows to watch the procession.

Soon enough, Kenny was marched into the police station, into a cell, released of his handcuffs and shoved onto the hard bench before Kyle quickly exited and Stan slammed the metal door closed. They both stood in front of the bars, Kyle with his hands on his hips and Stan's arms were crossed over his chest. There was a long silence as the room started to fill with teenagers. Kenny recognized most of them, like Clyde, Token, Bebe and Wendy.

He had to say, Bebe got hot.

"Dude, is that Kenny McCormick?" Token asked, peering over Stan's shoulder.

"Why'd you guys put him in jail?" Clyde added to the question.

"I'm not a monkey at a zoo. And these are bars, meaning that I can hear you." Kenny stated in a tone of annoyance and 'God, these people are idiots, I can't believe I was one of them'.

Stan glanced at Clyde, ignoring the prisoner for the time being, "Tweek reported to Kyle that there was a disturbance at the old McCormick house. When we got there, Kenny was rummaging through some stuff. Next thing we know, he had guns pointed at us and was trying to take what he could from us." He explained.

Wendy gasped, "You two managed to apprehend him at gunpoint?" She asked. "Stan, you're so brave!" She squealed, flinging her arms around the boy, whose face immediately turned red.

Kenny noted Kyle's annoyed eye rolling before the redhead turned on his heel and stormed out the door. The blonde couldn't help but tilt his head ever so slightly at Kyle's rather nice rear end. Oh yeah, he'd tap that…if it wasn't attached to Kyle. Kenny wrinkled his nose at the thought and shook his head, blinking when he noticed he was getting odd looks. "What?"

Stan took a step closer to the bars, "Why'd you try to mug us, Ken?" He asked coldly.

Kenny gave a halfhearted shrug and leaned back against the bench, figuring he'd be there for a while, "You were there." He replied, "Aren't you going to run after Kyle? He seemed pretty upset…"

Stan's blue eyes flickered quickly to where Kyle was standing and back to Kenny. The blonde could practically feel the anger radiating off of his former friend. "Clyde," He started without ripping his eyes away from Kenny's, "Do you think you can go check on Kyle. He probably went home since Ike's been home alone with Tweek."

"Yeesh," Clyde muttered, "I'm on it."

Clyde turned to leave, pausing momentarily when Kenny piped up, "Dude, hope you get the surprise I sent you." He stated with an amused but harsh tone in his voice.

Clyde looked at him over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow, before shaking his head and marching out of the police station. He desperately tried to ignore what Kenny had just said as he made his way towards Kyle's house but his brain couldn't help but try to mull it over.

He was happy to see Kenny, he wasn't happy to see Kenny in jail but that was the blonde's own fault, but he much rather would've liked to see Craig. At least everybody knew Stuart McCormick piled his family up in their old pick up and split, but nobody knew what happened to Craig Tucker, so Clyde figured that it'd be much nicer to see his old friend than Stan's. Besides, Clyde doubted Craig would point a gun at him and try to take his money. Doing crime was just too much trouble and a waste of unnecessary energy, something that didn't appeal to Craig Tucker.

Clyde's head snapped up when he was a house away from the Broflovski residence. He could clearly hear Tweek's yelps and yells from this distance, which was fairly disturbing to the brunette. People generally focused on Tweek's volume for guidance on how serious a situation was since he was always freaking out, and right now, it was a Goddamn serious situation.

Clyde ran full force across the lawn of the old green house and gasped when the door was open. Running into the room in a full panic, he gasped in surprise. Tweek Tweak was freaking out on the couch, coffee all over the floor as Ike Broflovski looked upon the mess in horror. Kyle Broflovski was frozen by the stairs, eyes wide. Clyde felt his heart stop as he saw who caused Tweek to lose his 'cool' and Kyle to freeze.

Craig Tucker, looking taller, thinner, a bit more hardened, turned his gaze to meet Clyde's. Everything, especially Tweek, seemed to go silent, or at least Clyde's ears shut themselves off. His eyes began to feel familiar hot pricks as they filled up with tears and he harshly rubbed at them, thinking that maybe if he did, the person he'd been hoping would come back for years was would disappear and he could continue on with worrying.

"_Dude, hope you get the surprise I sent you."_

Kenny McCormick's words rang through the silence in Clyde's mind and he stumbled back, falling against the wall behind him. "C-Craig?" He asked, ignoring the hot streams of tears now flowing down his cheeks. He'd been trying throughout his childhood to stop crying when he felt overwhelmed or upset but it was something that he simply couldn't help.

Craig broke out into a grin as Tweek, finally taking notice of Clyde's presence, seemed to calm down. It seemed that he too, was having issues accepting reality. "Dude, you should've seen your face."

Clyde harshly wiped at his eyes again, giving a stifled sound, and opened his mouth to speak, but Kyle beat him to it.

"What are you doing here, Craig?"

Clyde looked at the redhead, who was now aiming a gun at his old and suddenly back friend, in shock and appall as Tweak squealed. "Kyle! What are you doing, man?! I-It's Craig!"

"Exactly." Kyle replied, his eyes not ripping away from the black haired boy. "I'm thinking it's a bit more than a coincidence that he and Kenny McCormick come back to town at the same time."

"Kenny's back too?! Jesus!"

Craig let out a quiet chuckle, "Lemme guess. Judging by the gun, that idiot went and did something stupid, didn't he?" He asked, refusing to give an inch despite the gun.

"Just a little, yeah," Kyle replied.

"And judging from the gun and look of authority, you want me to go down to the station for some questioning, right?" Craig asked calmly, his eyes flickering to Clyde for a reaction.

Kyle gave a short nod and Clyde bolted to his feet, running to stand between Craig and the gun. "You can't be serious, Kyle! He didn't do anything! Maybe it is just a coincidence!"

"Get out of the way, Clyde," Kyle snapped. "This is no coincidence."

"No, Kyle, weirder things have happened but I know Craig. He wouldn't…" Clyde took a deep breath in an attempt to regain his composure, "He wouldn't try to rob people at gunpoint." He said in a reasonable tone.

"But he'll associate himself with someone who does." Kyle retorted.

"He associates with a cry baby like me and a spazz like Tweek," Clyde replied with just as much harshness in his voice.

Clyde jumped when a hand rested on his shoulder and Craig turned him around, a sincere look in his eye. "Clyde, don't worry about it," the black haired boy said soothingly, "All Kyle wants me to do is go down to the station and answer some questions. He's not going to toss me in jail for nothing. He's not that kind of guy, okay?"

Clyde's eyes began to water again as he flung his arms around Craig's neck and choked down a sob, "Where'd you go, Craig? We were all so worried about you!"

Craig hesitantly wrapped his arms around Clyde, his eyes keeping fixed on Kyle as he rested his cheek against the side of the brunette's head. "I'll tell you at the station so I don't have to repeat myself," He said gently, "So stop being such a fag, okay?"

Clyde managed a laugh and pushed away from his old friend, "Fuck you, dude. I've got something going on with _Bebe Stephens_." He replied.

Craig chuckled, "You wish you could fuck me." He shot back before glancing at Kyle, "So, are you going to cuff me or can I walk in there freely?" He asked while maintaining a slight look of disinterest on his face.

"Well, since you haven't done anything," The redhead started. He looked like he wanted to simply cuff Craig and toss him in the same cell as Kenny but Kyle kept glancing at his younger brother, who was watching him intensively. "You can walk in freely, unless you end up doing something like Kenny."

Craig snorted, "Don't worry, I won't be an idiot." He assured.

Clyde let out a hoarse laugh and the next thing the brunette knew, they were marching back to the police station, he and Tweek glued to Craig's sides as Kyle and Ike closely followed. The redhead decided that he'd rather not have his little brother home alone just in case anymore unwanted visitors decided to drop into town. The younger boy didn't have a problem with it, making a statement about how he'd really like to see justice in action, which was followed by a loud sigh from the older Broflovski.

Everyone gaped at Craig when he entered the police station and Kenny let out an amused laugh, "Dude, they got you too?" He asked with a giggle. Craig merely replied by flipping the bird and sat down at the desk Kyle instructed him to sit at while smirking at the blonde. This caused Kenny to gasp in surprise, "Hey! No fair! Why isn't _he_ getting shoved in here with me?" Kenny demanded, standing up and storming to the bars while pointing out at Craig, "And where are _his_ handcuffs?"

Craig tauntingly leaned back in his chair and continued smirking while studying the other teenagers in the room and their shocked expressions. His eyes flickered back to Kenny, who was now pouting on the concrete bench, momentarily. Butters wasn't around, which meant the gentler boy either never left the bus or was still on the loose in South Park. If it was the second one, they were in luck. That boy excelled in being unnoticed. If it was the first, Craig had no idea how he was going to get to him. He was probably going to get tailed, or have Craig and Tweek, and Token once the boy gets over the shock, latched to him. Not that he was complaining about that…

"Ready for the questioning when you are." He stated coolly as Stan and Kyle pulled up chairs on the opposite side of the desk and started shooing everyone else out of the building.


	5. Family

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_Five more days! 8D And this chapter came out obnoxiously fluffy. I'm sorry._

* * *

Leopold "Butters" Stotch stood before the full length mirror, wearing only his underwear, and examined his body while nipping at his bottom lip. He was too thin for his liking. He wasn't starved, but he still seemed bony. Others, of course, would call his frame slender while he used the term 'scrawny'.

At least he was clean now. God knows how long it had been since he'd taken a nice hot shower. His now creamy skin was simply covered in filth and his mother's old tub was caked in dirt. If she were here to see it, he'd surely be grounded. He'd even helped himself to some lotion and took care of his absolutely filthy nails. And the face cream worked wonders despite it most likely being expired.

There was a call out in the streets and the small blonde peered between the blinds of what used to be his parents bedroom. He could clearly see Craig walking towards the jailhouse with, if he was guessing right, Tweek and Clyde. He at least recognized Kyle by the bright green ushanka.

"Aw…hamburgers," Butters muttered before frantically looking around his parents still full closet for clean clothes, his mind reeling with ideas and solutions of how to help his friends. But he didn't want to help anyone else either.

That was when his eyes settled on his mother's 'date night' dress.

It was short, aqua and had matching strappy shoes. Without even thinking, the blonde ran into his old room and dug through his own closet, pleased to find his old long haired wig. He ran back into the other room, pulled the wig on and straightened it out, pleased to find it had maintained its fancy up-do from when he was in his hairdressing stage and he changed into the dress and shoes. He quickly put a light amount of make up on, feeling that he did have a pretty face and it shouldn't be hidden, and grabbed a hand bag before he clicked down the hall and almost fell down the stairs.

Straightening up, Butter's eyed his chest for a moment, thinking that maybe he should've stuffed because he was awfully flat and shook his head. If Paris Hilton could get away with the flat look, so could he. He opened the door and, after taking a few stumbling steps, managed to maintain composure and walk in the heels. He even managed to walk that certain way that made his hips sway from side to side. Not that he cared how he looked, he just….wanted to seem authentic.

It'd been probably over a half hour since he first saw Craig being marched down the street and he figured it was time enough to make his appearance. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door of the police station open and strode inside with a purposeful look. "Excuse me," He started in his soft but demanding voice.

Kenny, who was lounging in a cell, and Craig, who sat behind a desk across from Kyle and Butters recognized as Stan, both gaped at him. Butters cocked his hip to the side in hopes that he was expressing attitude.

Stan and Kyle glanced at each other before the black haired boy spoke, "Can…we help you miss?" He asked as he wore a curious look on his face.

Butters almost squealed in joy that he wasn't recognized but managed to keep his cool, "Yes, you seem to have my help." He replied smoothly. "And I'd like them back. I'd happily pay bail if that's what you need."

"You're help?" Kyle asked, sounding fairly suspicious.

"Yes," Butters nodded assuredly, "What did they do this time? I'll be sure to punish them justly." He started before taking a few steps towards the cell and peering at Kenny through the bars, "What kind of trouble did you get into this time?" He asked in a scolding voice, "Did you not take your medicine again?"

Kenny blinked for a few seconds before hanging his head, "Yes'm, I did."

Butters sighed and held out his arms for a hug through the bars. Kenny warily got up and approached the bars, looking ready for a forgiving hug. He almost looked excited for it.

He definitely looked shocked when he got smacked upside the head with a handbag, "Now, you ought to know better than to attack nice town people who are just tryin' to get by! You apologize, mister, and it better sound sincere!"

Kenny gave him a look but grudgingly looked at Stan and Kyle, "Sorry I tried to mug you guys. I'm just…"

"A social idiot." The blonde in the dress provided in a snippy tone.

Kenny gave Butters a look but sighed, "Yeah, a social retard." He admitted lamely.

Stan raised an eyebrow, "Its…okay?"

Butters offered a sweet smile, "You see, I bought these two at an auction. It was either this or they'd be butt buddies with strange men. Unfortunately, due to the fact that my family lost all of their money that very night, I had to keep them instead of free them. Ever since, they've been trying to find ways to buy their freedom," the blonde explained. "Isn't that right, boys?"

Kenny and Craig both heaved sighs, "Yes, ma'am." They replied monotonously and simultaneously.

Giving a pleased nod, Butters turned to Kyle and Stan, "So, do I need to pay bail or can I just drag them home by their ears?" He asked lightly.

The redhead looked at his partner, who in turn shrugged, "I don't see why not? I mean, if Kenny needs medication."

Kyle looked skeptical but stood up with an exasperated sigh anyway; he obviously looked too tired to argue. He unlocked the door to the cell and swung it open. Kenny hurriedly moved to exit as Kyle grouchily turned on his heel, suddenly gasping when he felt something brush up against his rear and tighten.

The redhead spun on his heel, shooting a glare at the blonde as he felt his face heat up. Kenny shot him a smirk and winked a second before he was yanked down to Butters' level by the ear, causing the taller blonde to yelp. Butters' other hand shot out, grabbing Craig's ear from under his blue hat and tugged the other boy up. Holding both, now whining, young men's ears, he smiled at Stan and Kyle and gave a slight curtsy. "I hope you won't be awfully sore if we stayed a few days. I'll be sure to keep the boys out of trouble seeing as my bus broke down and all…"

"No, dude, not at all," Stan replied offering a smile, "And if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

Butters gave a sweet smile, another curtsy and proceeded to drag Kenny and Craig out by their ears, making sure that his hips swished from side to side in the most alluring way possible.

"Some girl," Stan muttered before glancing at Kyle, "Why are you so red?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing," Kyle muttered with a scowl marked on his face. "Nothing at all."

* * *

"Damn, Butters, did you have to hold our ears so hard?" Kenny complained as he sat at the old Stotch kitchen table, his face somewhat buried in his arms, using them as if they were a pillow. "And why haven't you changed yet?"

Butters shot Kenny a glare as he continued with making tea, it was the only thing in the house he could find at the moment, "I'm awfully disappointed in you, Kenny." He stated with an annoyed tone in his voice, "Pointing guns at your friends."

"They're not my friends anymore, Butters," Kenny groaned as Craig leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table.

"Harsh, Kenny," He stated, "Especially after what you did to Kyle."

Kenny let out a grin and shoved the bill of his hat up ever so slightly with his thumb, "You saw that?" He asked in a pleased tone. His grin grew at Craig's disapproving look, "Well, c'mon, he's got a hot ass!"

"Dude, you don't pinch the law's butt!" Craig argued.

Butters turned sharply and glared at Kenny, "Kenny, you didn't!" He gasped.

Kenny sat up, realizing he was now going to get nagged at from both sides, and put his hands up in self defense, "Okay, okay…" He pointed to Craig, "I'll be more respectable while in South Park and I won't try to steal or shoot anyone." And then he pointed to Butters, "And I'll apologize to Kyle."

Butters looked please and turned to continue with his tea making while Craig held a skeptical look. The black haired young man looked at the prettier blonde, "Were you telling the truth about the bus?" He asked curiously.

"I sure was," Butters replied, "This telephone pole came outta no where when I was tryin' to park."

Kenny groaned, "You crashed our _house_?"

"W-Well I didn't mean to!" Butters cried, "And I figured we could just stay here for now." He started wringing his fingers together nervously like he did when he was a little boy, "I already brought our food and drinks and trunks, you guys even get your own rooms until we fix the bus!" He explained before nipping his bottom lip nervously.

Craig rubbed his temples tiredly, "Fine…We'll stay until we can fix the bus," he sighed. Kenny nodded in agreement when Butters gave the other blonde his fiercest glare, "Now Kenny," He started, glancing at Craig just in case he needed some help, "We all know how much you like to..to…uhm…"

"Pound snootch," Craig supplied absently.

"Yeah, that," Butters nodded, "But you gotta not do that here. These _are_ our friends whether you like it or not and we need to make them feel that we didn't forget about them." He thought for a second, "And I don't think anyone would appreciate it either…"

Kenny looked at them both with wide eyes, "You're banning me from sex?"

"Yup," Craig said, smiling at Butters in thanks when the gentler blonde set a cup of tea down in front of him.

Kenny let out a whine, "But…Bebe! She's so hot!" He gave Craig a pleading look, pouting at Butters when the blonde set a cup of tea in front of him as well before sitting down next to him with his own cup. "You saw her."

"She's banging Clyde," Kenny's so called friend explained before taking a sip.

Kenny gave another whine, "Well…uhm…Wendy, wait no…not her…" He twirled the cup in his hands slightly before looking up with an expression of epiphany, "Kyle! What about Kyle?!"

He yelped when Butters smacked him in the back of the head. "No, Kenny! Bad Kenny!" He scolded before taking a sip of his tea, still glaring fully at the other blonde.

Kenny sunk down in his seat, a full on pout on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest, "You guys are assholes." He grouched.

"No we're not," Craig replied, finding it fairly weird that he and Butters, who was dressed as a woman, scolding a pouting Kenny McCormick. He realized that his middle finger was up, something he hadn't done since he was a little kid. Something he hadn't done since he'd been separated from his family. Kenny and Butters exchanged glances as their friend stared at his own middle finger in complete shock and surprise. It was obvious his mind was reeling and he finally looked up at the two blondes.

Holy shit.

They were a _family_.

Why didn't he realize this before?

"Hey, uh, Craig…any reason you're flipping us off, buddy?" Kenny asked cautiously.

Craig slowly lowered his finger and then his hand, still looking fairly shocked, "Nothing," He replied absently, "Its nothing."

"Are you sure?" Butters asked, "Are you feeling okay?" He leaned over the table to feel Craig's forehead.

Craig heaved a sigh. Yes, they were obviously a family. At least behind closed doors they were. To the rest of the world, they were partners. He, apparently, was with the rest of the world until just now. A smile spread across his face and he looked at Butters. "Don't worry, Butters, I'm fine. Trust me."


	6. Flirt

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_Wow, two chapters in one day? Go me!_

_

* * *

_

Kenny walked down Main Street with a scowl marked on his face, his arm intertwined with Butters'. The smaller blonde was wearing a fairly attractive dress and his wig was in a flipped out down style. Kenny couldn't help but wonder if his cohort was enjoying this a bit _too_ much. After all, Butters was now putting his hips into his walk greatly as if to make up for the lack of chest. If Kenny didn't know any better, he could've sworn Butters was a chick.

"When you said that you ran into a pole while parking, I didn't think you'd managed to hit both ends of the bus with the pole," He muttered as Butters smiled cutely to a couple of boys who were carrying buckets of milk. "And it was nice of you not to mention that we need new parts and tires."

Butters gave a pleased look when one of the boys stumbled and he glanced at Kenny with an embarrassed blush, "Well, I figured you'd be sore with me." He replied lightly.

"So you took me out in public to tell me?" Kenny stated, keeping his attention straight ahead.

"Craig suggested it."

Kenny continued to scowl, which is probably why whenever they passed other boys, Butters would only get hesitant looks. Apparently he and Butters looked a bit like a couple, arms intertwined and such. Nothing to get the small town rumors going, especially when Butters kept sending flirtatious looks and waves.

"One might think you're enjoying this a bit too much," Kenny murmured to the boy latched onto his arm. "You don't seem as…open when you're not in a dress and wig."

Butters gave him a teasing but knowing sign, "I'm not me when I'm in a wig and dress," He replied simply. "Besides, you know you like it." Butters' smile turned into a grin when he glanced at a group passing by and bumped his hips against Kenny's playfully before sending a wink to whatever boys were in the group.

"Damn, woman, why don't you just stick your hands down their pants!" Kenny snapped loud enough for anyone who may be listening to hear. Butters' face turned bright red as people turned and looked at the pair before trading curious whispers. He started sputtering in embarrassment, completely thrown off and Kenny started to snicker before tugging the smaller boy's arm into the police station, "C'mon, you gotta witness me apologize to Kyle."

Butters pulled him to a stop, his cheeks still pink, as he started brushing dust off of the other. "Okay, but be polite. None of that mumbling that you like to do when you have to say something you don't wanna say," Butters started before snatching Kenny's hat, "And you get this back when you do a good job."

Kenny gasped as Butters leaned up, brushed and fixed his messy unkempt hair, and shoved him in through the doors of the station. As he turned to see Kyle scowling up at him from a desk as Stan and Ike blinked at him curiously, he decided that he was going to kill Butters…and maybe Craig once he got through this.

"Hey," He started carefully, his eyes locking with Kyle's fierce green ones, "Can I talk to you?" He glanced at Stan and Ike quickly, "Privately."

Kyle opened his mouth, obviously about to protest when Ike piped up first, "Stan owes me a snack anyway," He stated, standing up and gently setting his book down on the desk before grabbing his brother's best friend's arm and dragging the boy out past Kenny. They'd obviously run into Butters due to the loud and cheerful greeting.

Kyle opted for ignoring Kenny if the blonde was going to be in the same room with him and he stood up, neatly stacking a handful of files in his hands before marching over to a file cabinet. Kenny strode over coolly, making it a show that he wasn't about to pull a gun on the redhead by keeping his hands away from his sides. Kyle glanced up at him, administering his best glare before roughly opening another cabinet drawer.

"Listen, Kyle…" He started, not really sure how to talk to someone he hadn't seen for years and then pulled a gun on before pinching their butt, much less apologize to them for the butt thing. It was clearly a situation not many people were in.

"I don't want to hear it," Kyle snapped, glaring at Kenny, "I don't want to hear whatever stupid story you and Craig and….I don't want to hear your bullshit and as soon as you get your damn bus fixed, I want you out of South Park without any trouble."

Kenny took another step forward, raising an eyebrow, "Who says I'll be making trouble?" He asked curiously.

Kyle slammed the drawer closed loudly, causing the blonde to jump, "And what was with that pinch earlier?!" He demanded sharply as he advanced towards Kenny.

"Maybe I just like your ass." Kenny replied calmly.

Kyle seemed more angered by this, "I don't know where the hell you got the nerve to treat someone you used to be friends," he started, wagging his finger in the blonde's face, "Best friends even..."

He didn't get to finish his rant since he gasped as Kenny grabbed his finger and opposite arm. Kyle stared up at the blonde, green eyes meeting blue, in shock. He was more shocked to find that Kenny seemed to have no intention on trying to harm him. The blonde looked actually fairly amused and…Kyle hated himself for thinking this…soft.

"Still got that temper, I see," He mused, shifting his hand so that he was holding Kyle's hand more than just his finger. "I'm glad not everything changes."

Kyle stared at him, still in shock. His brain screamed at him to stop staring and letting the blonde hold his hand and arm but his body simply would let him. His legs refused to move, his arms refused to push away and his eyes refused to stare at the face he rarely saw as a child. They took everything in too. They took in every hair, every pore, everything. And Kyle simply couldn't understand why Kenny hid under a hood most for most of his young life. He was…

Kenny snapped Kyle out of his thoughts with a chuckle, "Careful now, Kyle, you're getting a bit too queer for me."

Kyle's face brightened immediately and he shoved Kenny away, back up a yard or so, "_Me_?" He started as he glowered at the blonde, "_You're_ the one holding me and everything!" He snapped.

Kenny gave a snort, "I think we already established that I don't care if you're a guy, Kyle." He replied while making a pinching motion with his fingers.

Thankfully for Kyle, the door creaked open and Butters poked his, or her, cute little head in and offered a cheery smile, "Did you boys make up in here?" He asked with a light and happy tone. Kenny visibly winced and Kyle scowled causing Butters to frown. "Kenny…" He said with a sigh.

"I was going to, honest!" Kenny stated, glancing at Kyle quickly, "It's just that the conversation went astray before I could…meaning that Kyle, here, started yelling at me before I could."

Kyle looked shocked, completely and absolutely shocked. How dare Kenny lie about wanting to apologize to him and then blame him for not being able to do it! The blonde made no attempt what-so-ever to apologize. All he did was either try to anger Kyle or make a move on him. And Kenny McCormick had managed to do both quite well. Also, the fact that Kenny would lie to someone he traveled with was just too much.

"I highly doubt Kenny McCormick is capable of something like an apology." Kyle snapped.

Kenny gave him an odd look. It was a look that said he couldn't believe Kyle didn't believe him, which was true, and under that look seemed to be one of slight hurt. That was ridiculous though. There was no way a perverse, criminal asshole like Kenny McCormick could be hurt because someone didn't believe one of his little cons.

Kenny heaved a sigh and glanced at Butters, who'd stepped completely into the room and was quickly joined by Stan and Ike. Glancing once more at Kyle, Kenny shook his head slowly and stepped over to the young 'woman' in the room.

Butters grabbed onto Kenny's arm, offering him a thin smile and looked at Stan. "Thank you for the directions to the nearest junkyard."

"No problem, Miss….uh…"

Butters' grip tightened on Kenny's arm for a split second as the smaller blonde panicked. "Marjorine," He replied with a smile. "My name is Marjorine."

A faint look of recollection crossed Stan's face for a brief moment but he shrugged it off soon enough and held out his hand for Butters, "Well, if you need anymore help, don't hesitate to ask, okay?"

Butters managed a light flirty giggle as he gently took Stan's hand and shook it gently. "Thank you," He replied, "I'll be sure to send one of my boys if I need anything." He looked at Kenny, smirking slightly as the blonde rolled his eyes, "Ready to go, Kenny?"

Kenny gave one last fleeting look at Kyle, who refused to look at him, and nodded, "Yeah lets go." He replied before being led out by 'Marjorine'.

Ike tilted his head slightly after the blondes and Stan promptly smacked the younger boy in the back of the head, giving him a glare. Ike pouted, rubbing his head, "What?" He started, "She's kinda cute!"

"Kinda familiar is more like it," Stan replied with a scowl before looking at his Super Best Friend, "What'd Kenny want to talk to you about?"

Kyle blinked at his friend and little brother and shook his head slowly, "I don't even know," He replied before looking at the clock and then out the window. The sun was setting and he could see one or two teenagers running to finish whatever chores they had to finish before darkness fell completely. He heaved a sigh and looked at the other two again, "Stan, you wanna come over and have dinner with us? It's starting to get dark."

Stan gave a shrug and a grin, "Yeah, dude, sure thing. Wendy and Bebe are having some stupid 'Girl's Night' thing so she won't be making me dinner tonight. I was sorta hoping you would ask so I didn't have to."

Ike gave a short snort as he grabbed his and Kyle's jackets off the coat rack by the door and tossed his brother's to him. "Geez, Stan," The young genius started, "I didn't know you couldn't cook."

"What? And you can?" Stan snapped irritably as he pulled on his own jacket after grabbing his own jacket.

"Yes, actually," Ike replied smartly. "I do most of the cooking and cleaning at home since Kyle's always keeping the justice or going on those supply trips."

It was Stan's turn to snort as all three started out the building, into the cold night and down the street towards the Broflovski house where warmth and a settled coffee stain waited for them. "So you're basically like a housewife?" He asked with an amused tone ringing through his voice.

"Am not!" Ike pouted, shoving his hands into his pockets, "I'm just doing my part since Kyle can't do everything on his own. I mean, I do stuff out of the house too. Like help with the cattle and…stuff…." He muttered.

Kyle grinned as Stan chuckled and ruffled the younger boy's hair, "Okay, okay, given the situation I guess you're not a complete pussy," He allowed, wearing a grin as big as his friends.

"Damn straight," Ike mumbled grouchily. "Anyway, since I'm probably going to be making dinner," He gave Stan a look, "and I was stuck dealing with Tweek," He turned the look to Kyle, "You two gotta clean that coffee stain he left when Craig came in. It's fucking huge."

Kyle and Stan looked at each other and sighed in defeat.


	7. Luncheon

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_Three more days! Two until the DVD comes out (which I'll be getting so my update may be late and/or nonexistent on the tenth)._

_Also, this chapter was just too damn stubborn. _

* * *

Bebe Stephens and Wendy Testaburger stared in surprise and amusement at the large, broken yellow school bus. Butters, or Marjorine, peeked out from behind the hood and smiled at them.

He was wearing a mechanics uniform, his blonde wig tied back in pigtails while wearing a bandana, that Kenny and Craig managed to find at the old automotive garage along with tires and tools he either didn't have or they thought it'd be good if he had extra of. Butters had supplied them with a list of parts that he was sure he needed and sent the two off to the junkyard to find them.

His face and hands were covered in grime and he wiped his dirty hands on the sides of the uniform as he approached the girls. "Hi!" He greeted cheerfully with a bright smile.

"Hi, I'm Wendy," Wendy held out her hand for a shake, causing Butters to wipe down his hands one more time before taking it gently and shaking, "And this is Bebe."

Bebe shook Butters' hand, offering a kind smile, "Nice to meet you."

Butters nodded wisely, "Likewise," He replied, taking his hand back and peering secretively at theirs in an attempt to see if he left dirt. They didn't seem to care if he did or didn't though, "I'm Marjorine."

Looks of recollection flashed across the girls' faces and they glanced at each other quickly before looking at Butters in confusion. Wendy tucked some of her long black hair behind her ear as she studied Butters skeptically. Butters shifted nervously and much to his relief, she seemed appeased when she smiled again.

"Well, Marjorine, we were wondering if you'd like to join us for lunch. Just a little girl thing, you know?" She stated happily as she held out a basket of hair products, meat, fruit and socks, "This is for you by the way, just a little gift basket we managed to put together to welcome you to town."

"Oh, t-thank you," Butters smiled brightly, accepting the basket and peering at the contents curiously. He could make good use of all of this, that was sure.

"And bring Craig and Kenny along," Bebe added, "Clyde and the other boys will be there though. And the more the merrier."

"I…uh…" Butters looked back at the broken bus, knowing full well that Craig and Kenny would want it up and running as soon as possible. At least he knew that Kenny would, he wasn't too sure about Craig's opinion.

Bebe seemed to catch his hesitant glancing and offered a brighter smile, "Oh, don't worry. That old bus isn't going to go anywhere." She urged.

"W-Well, I suppose not," Butters allowed, glancing at the bus again.

"Great," Wendy replied brightly, "Lunch will be in two hours and don't forget to wear something cute!" She added before waving Bebe to follow her and the two girls ambled back into town, chattering loudly.

Butters frowned. If he was supposed to look nice, that meant he had to find a cute dress, take a shower and restyle his wig. And he also had to somehow convince Craig and Kenny to go with him to the lunch as well as clean up and look presentable. In two hours. The worst part was, Kenny and Craig didn't change since they were children, except puberty made them stink up the bus more. They hated baths and showers, often being forced to stand outside as Butters hosed them down before they were once again allowed access into their home.

Butters liked to think of it as tough love.

After a half hour of fidgeting and squirming and staring at the engine, Butters looked relieved to see Kenny and Craig return with a couple of boxes. Both looked fairly annoyed, though Craig always did that, and Butters gave them a large cheerful smile that screamed 'Please?'.

Kenny set his box down first and took off his hat to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. "How's the bus coming along, Butters?" He asked in a tired tone, eyeing the basket in the other blonde's hands curiously.

"It's…uh…coming along," He muttered uneasily, Craig quickly snatched the basket to examine the contents and see if he could call dibs on anything that he figured the other boys would try to keep to themselves, and Butters peered up at his friends with a hopeful expression, "So…Bebe and Wendy came by…" He started off slowly. "And they invited us to lunch…and I accepted and you guys have to take showers or baths and clean up." He finished off quickly, wincing and putting his hands up to guard himself.

Kenny looked…flabbergasted to say the least and ready to protest loudly as Craig managed to maintain his ever present look of disinterest. He was the first one to reply though, "Yeah, sure, we'll hurry up so you can get ready, God knows girls take more time."

Butters smiled and turned to Kenny, who couldn't help but offer a weak smile back. He straightened up, grabbed Craig's arm and turned, "Well then, we ought to get crackin' or the little miss here won't have any time to herself." He stated in a teasing tone before dragging the black haired young men off towards town and Butters' home.

Butters hesitated for a moment before cupping his hands around his mouth, "Find me a cute dress while you're at it!" He called, earning a half wave from Kenny as a reply. He bit his bottom lip nervously, realizing that he sent Kenny McCormick and Craig Tucker to find a _cute_ dress. And last he checked, Kenny's idea of cute was…naked or something…and Craig's was guinea pigs. He couldn't help but hope they wouldn't mess this up as he walked them grow smaller in the distance.

Thankfully, or unfortunately since it really depends on how one looks at it, Butters didn't see the grins both Craig and Kenny were wearing. They didn't go to Butters' old house, but first they quickly walked to Cartman's old home. Opening the door, since the kids in the town already took the essentials from the place, the eased their way in and headed straight upstairs and into Liane Cartman's old room. They kept their eyes off of the kinky love toys, the video camera and trashcan of used condoms, quickly opening the closet door.

* * *

"….Marjorine?"

"Yes, Stan?"

"What are you…"

Butters' head snapped up, an angry and distressed look filling his eyes as he shot a glare over to his snickering 'friends' before looking at Stan pathetically. "This is just…their idea of cute." He muttered in embarrassment while nodding in Kenny and Craig's direction.

His wig was in an up-do and the dress was light blue, a color he felt looked great on him. The problem was its way too low backline and the thin horizontal strip of dress keeping the top part attacked to the bottom part. It was also too short for his taste. Actually, the whole damn dress was too scandalous. Especially for a nice little meet and greet. And what angered Butters more was that Kenny and Craig were dressed up, actually dressed up, in nice casual button up shirts.

Oh, they were going to get it.

Stan, as if without thought, shrugged off his jacket and dropped it around Butters' shoulders. The shocked blonde blinked and smiled in thanks but Stan was already gleefully navigating to Wendy.

"He nearly gets separation anxiety when he and I go on our scouting trips." Butters turned his head and peered up at Kyle, who happened to be holding one of the beers Kenny and Craig had taken from their last hit. He didn't realize the boys where bringing drinks as well. Kyle glanced at Butters, who was staring at his drink, and scowled, "I had to confiscate it from my little brother," He explained, "Kenny slipped it to him." The redhead shot the blonde a glare and got a wink back as a reply.

"Yeah, sorry about Kenny," Butters apologized lamely.

"What happened to him?" Kyle asked, keeping his gaze on the offending blonde and his little brother.

Butters hesitated for a moment before taking a step closer to the redhead to mutter easier without being caught by the subject of their conversation. "He sorta detached himself ever since he saw his dad die." The smaller blonde explained, "Nobody except him really knew what happened. You see, when his family and mine left South Park, we sorta flocked together, with some other families…and Eric Cartman, he was there too. He sure cried an awful lot though, after what happened to his mom," Butters squirmed at the thought of his wearing Liane's dress, "Mr. McCormick took Kenny and Eric, cause the McCormick's sorta took him in you see, and when only Kenny came back, wearing that hat of his and crying." Kyle was frowning thoughtfully, keeping his gaze on Kenny, when Butters looked up at him cautiously, "But don't tell anyone that I told you that. It sorta screwed Kenny up."

"I didn't know that…" Kyle muttered, his eyes finally breaking away from Kenny and looking down to the snowy grass, "Maybe I've been to hard on him…"

"Stan seems to have gotten over...uh…the whole gun thing…" Butters chimed in.

Kyle nodded slowly, "Yeah, Stan's a forgiving guy." He agreed before looking at Butters curiously, "Maybe I should go apologize?"

The blonde gave a shrug, holding onto the jacket on his shoulders so it wouldn't fall off, "It wouldn't hurt."

Kyle gave a short nod before taking a deep breath. He gave the unopened can to Butters before striding over to Kenny, who was sipping on his own can of booze and comfortably twisting his hat to sit backwards on his head, and stared into the blonde's blue eyes in determination.

He'd forgotten how blue Kenny's eyes were.

Kyle shook his head, wondering why the hell he was staring so intently at the _color_ of Kenny's eyes and heaved a sigh when the blonde looked at him curiously, "Uhm, I wanted to apologize." He mumbled. "For being so harsh on judging you and….not letting you apologize yesterday."

Kenny blinked, looking slightly shocked, "Really?"

Kyle nodded slowly and with some forced determination, "Really."

"Well then," Kenny started, "I want to apologize for pinching your ass the other day and trying to mug you before that. That was a pretty fucked up thing for me to do." He admitted, a frown pulling at his lips.

Kyle managed a slight smile and held out his hand, "We're cool then?" He asked, sounding rather awkward, much to his distaste.

Kenny smirked and grabbed Kyle's hand. "Oh, yeah," He replied, "We're cool." He then yanked the redhead's hand, pulling Kyle forward.

And then their lips met.


	8. Comprimise

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_I post this now because I don't know whether or not I will be posting tomorrow. I'm not sure how long my hunt for season 12 will take but I know it's starting at, like, seven in the morning. 'Cause I have no life._

* * *

As Kenny McCormick tried to kick it up a notch from non-tongue one sided kissing to tongue use but still one sided kissing, Kyle Broflovski's brain tried to reboot. Sadly, it froze in the middle of the reboot and he had to try again. But after its third attempt, he succeeded in realizing what was going on, registering the gasps and whispers and Kenny's light nibbling on his bottom lip, as well as the fact that the blonde had let go of his hand to cop a feel from his ass. Kyle's thought process only contained one word as his brain tried to control function of his body parts. And that one word was 'kill'.

The next thing anyone knew was that Kyle had Kenny by the shoulders and his knee was rammed into the blonde's stomach. A split second later, Craig was tackling Kenny to the ground since he and Kyle apparently reacted at the same exact time.

"Oh, hamburgers!"

The whole room turned to look at Butters.

'_You see, when his family and mine left South Park, we sorta flocked together…'_

"His family and mine left Sou-" Kyle's looked at Butters in confusion. "_Butters_?"

"Goddammit!" Craig snapped, pulling Kenny to his feet and dragging him towards the smaller, cross-dressing blonde. He pushed Kenny behind him and dragged Butters towards him, pulling a gun from under his jacket and holding it up to Butters' head. "I _really_ was hoping you wouldn't screw up." He hissed, hearing Kenny recover behind him and pull out his own guns to point at the small group.

"D-Don't shoot him!" Bebe cried out as she clung to Clyde's arm fearfully.

The brunette's look was pained, "Cr…Craig, why are you doing this?" He managed to choke out.

"I didn't _want_ to do it, dumbass," Craig snapped, thoroughly annoyed with the entire situation. Just because Butters and Kenny were blonde didn't mean they had to live up to the stereotype. He glanced at Butters when the small blonde tightened his grip on the arm holding his neck. Tears were visibly forming in the corners of his eyes and Craig couldn't help but inwardly smirk. Butters knew how to work the baby look.

He wasn't entirely sure why he was holding Butters in a threatening position. He wasn't going to shoot the other boy but it certainly brought out the fear in the others, which meant they'd listen to his commands easier. Besides, they liked Butters and he…well Clyde and Tweek liked him but everyone else probably saw him as Kenny's troublemaking friend who should either get the same treatment as Kenny or be watched because he was quiet.

"This is what's going to happen." Kenny started, his eyes flickering to each person. He opened his mouth and hesitated. Nervously licking his lips he looked at Craig, "What's going to happen, Craig?"

Craig took a deep breath and sought out Kyle's eye contact. Once he had it, he looked at the blonde in determination, figuring Kyle would be the biggest protestor. "Let Butters and I finish up the bus, we won't bother you and you won't bother us." He stated, "And until then, you can keep Kenny in jail. Once we're done, we'll pick him up, cuffed if you want, and leave. No trouble."

"What?" Kenny sounded shocked and offended but Craig stomped on the blonde's foot to shut him up quickly. It worked since Kenny uttered a whimper and lowered his guns momentarily to tend to his foot.

"Butters and I haven't caused any trouble," Craig reasoned, "And the only reason Butters was running around as a girl is because he knew it'd be suspicious if he suddenly appeared after Kenny and I and he couldn't get us out of jail otherwise."

Kyle, who managed to keep his angry green eyes locked with Craig's, let out a deep breath. His face was still read from what had happened earlier and he glared intently at Kenny, then he looked at Stan. "If we do this," He started, "I refuse to take care of him or talk to him."

Stan gave a half hearted shrug, "Reasonable enough," he replied, keeping a wary eye on the three hoodlums. He obviously felt this was between Kyle and Kenny and Craig just had to drag himself and everyone else in the middle of it. "We're in."

Craig hesitantly let go of Butters and tucked his gun away before grabbing a shocked and stunned Kenny, pinning the blonde's arms behind his back. "Butters, if you'd be so kind," He stated, looking at the smaller blonde.

Butters rushed over, tugging his arms into Stan's jacket's sleeves and patted Kenny down. He dropped out of the blonde's pockets a condom, a stick of gum, a clean pair of underwear, some cash, and a knife. He also picked up the guns Kenny dropped and hopped away from the two a few feet before Craig pushed Kenny over to Stan, who tiredly cuffed the blonde and proceeded to tug Kenny away.

It was then that the blonde managed to find his voice and began to scream obscenities at his so called 'friends'. Kyle ended up covering Ike's ears after the first few seconds.

Craig buried his face in his head and heaved a sigh before glancing at Butters, who was staring after the departing blonde with a distressed look on his face. "What do you think about letting him cool off by getting drunk tonight and starting on the bus again tomorrow?"

Butters nodded slowly. He wasn't one to get drunk. Both he and Craig knew that. But today and the circumstances just seemed to be a special occasion. Meaning the smaller blonde would make an exception, which was rare. "Yeah," He gave a light sigh, "That might be a good idea."

They glanced at the group of kids their age. People who used to be childhood friends were now eyeing them warily and suspiciously. Except for Clyde, though, he simply looked heartbroken and near tears. It reminded Craig vaguely of when they were four and he informed the slightly chubbier boy that Santa didn't exist and it was just a lie that their parents told them in order to keep them in line.

Craig gently tugged Butters' arm to leave and they began walking away from the group. Butters stopped suddenly and tugged off Stan's jacket, holding it out carefully for Wendy. She snatched it, holding it tightly to her chest, and he sighed in defeat before Craig slung an arm over the blonde's shoulders and led him back to their bus tiredly.

Kyle glowered after them, watching their forms disappear with his arm around his little brother, who's dark eyes were wide in shock, "So…she…who I said was cute…is a boy?" He squeaked out, seeming oblivious to the fact that guns and bargaining were involved. Ike looked up at Kyle with a rather worried gaze, "That doesn't' make me _gay_, does it?" Clyde choked out a chuckle, Bebe giggling quietly soon after. Wendy started in closely after, as well. Ike glared at the older teenagers and looked up at Kyle, whose mouth was still stuck in a frown, "Kyle?"

Kyle blinked out of his thoughts, looking fairly confused but looked at his little brother. "Ike…listen…" He coughed slightly and jerked his head up, "Hey, Wendy?"

Wendy covered her giggling mouth and looked at Kyle, working concern into her expression, "What's wrong Kyle?" She asked cautiously. He shoved his little brother towards her and glanced in the direction Stan and Kenny went before looking back at her. She smiled, nodding and looked at Ike, "How about you try this cake I baked, only Clyde has had some so far and I'd rather someone else enjoy it."

Ike didn't argue and nodded, watching his older brother leave in the direction of the police station from the corner of his eye.

* * *

Kyle half jogged to the station, not entirely sure why he was going there in the first place. Especially after he told Stan he refused to have anything to do with Kenny McCormick. He also wasn't sure why he ducked behind a building as Stan passed by, leaving the station and heading back to the party. The logical part of Kyle's brain pressed him to follow his best friend, but another part of his brain, a louder part, nagged at him to see Kenny, to at least find out _why_ the blonde seemed to take such a liking to him.

Silently slipping into the building, he approached the blonde in the cell. Kenny was lying on the bench on his back. His face was covered by his old trucker hat and he was humming some song that sounded vaguely familiar. All songs sounded vaguely familiar though.

Kyle picked up a chair and carried it to the cell bars before sitting down, staring intently at the blonde. Kenny's humming quieted but the blonde made no move to look at him. Finally, though, Kenny spoke, "Thoughtcha didn't want nothing to do with me." He stated calmly, his voice echoing in the empty building.

"I don't," Kyle replied, his voice not as calm as the other's, "I just…"

"Want to know why?" Kenny finished, tipping his hat back to have his blue eyes meet with Kyle's curious green. Kyle nodded slowly and Kenny heaved a sigh, forcing himself to sit up, "Well…" He sighed, "You're a good guy, Kyle and…" He fidgeted slightly. "Just…don't change and don't forget about the friends you don't have in South Park anymore, okay?"

Kyle stood up, his brow furrowed and he stepped toward the cell and laced his fingers around some bars. "How can you, of all people, say that?" He hissed. "You tried to shoot us…you've acted like nothing but a jackass since you've been here…you certainly haven't been a friend! You act worse than Cart-"

Kyle didn't get to finish his sentence when Kenny slammed into the bars, his face glowering as he gave an almost feral growl in the back of his throat, "Don't fucking talk about him." He snarled before pushing away from the bars and sat down on the bench grouchily.

Kyle blinked, eyes wide, and he carefully backed up until his calves bumped into the chair seat and he sat down, "What happened to him?" He asked; his voice barely audible.

Kenny didn't look up at him, "I told you, don't talk about him. Ever. Just don't."

Kyle squirmed in his seat slightly, the silence filled the room as the redhead continued to stare at the blonde. Finally he found the nerve to speak up again, "Butters…Butters told me that your family took him in. After…you know…" Kenny stayed silent. "He told me that you and Cartman and your Dad went hunting one day…and that…"

"Shut up." Kyle silenced himself as he watched Kenny shift slightly. The blonde stared, almost dead, at the floor but a tear managed to break from his eye and slide down his cheek. "You were always fucking nosey, Kyle." He muttered, his eyes finally flickering up to meet Kyle's. "I always thought it was endearing, because I thought it meant you cared…but…you're just fucking sticking your nose in what isn't your place this time." Kenny roughly wiped his cheek before turning to glare at the wall next to him, "You told Stan you didn't want to deal with me, you better not make yourself a liar."

Kyle nodded slowly, "Yeah…you're right," He replied quietly, standing up and dragging the chair back where it came from. He couldn't shake the tight queasy feeling that was overcoming his stomach as he walked to the door of the station, casting one last look at Kenny, who was lying down with his back facing the outside world.

Kyle decided then that Kenny was right. He was nosey. But he was wrong too. This time, he wasn't nosey because he could be. He did actually care, whether he wanted to care for Kenny McCormick or not.


	9. Friends Forever

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_Yess...yessss…I have the precious. _=D _Also, I just watched the clip for the new episode and my little heart squealed at what I saw were hints at some Bunny…if that makes sense._

* * *

"Craig! Craig you Goddamn asshole! Get out here! Craiiig!"

Craig Tucker moaned as he rolled over on his cot and glanced at the digital clock Butters glued onto the wall of the school bus. The blonde was curled up on the cot next to the clock, wearing jogging pants and a large shirt, and snoring, fairly loudly too. Two-fifteen in the morning, meaning whoever was screaming for him outside was paying a visit a tad too late, or too early, either way worked.

Rolling out of bed, Craig pulled himself to his feet using the bus seat in front of him. Groaning, he rubbed his head and stumbled to the door, pulling it open and stepping out onto the hard soil in nothing but his boxers and a shirt. Blearily, he glared at the young man who was calling out. Clyde glared back at him, swaying slightly in his intoxicated state while squeezing the empty beer bottle in his hand.

"You Goddamn fucking asshole!" He shouted, harshly throwing the bottle to the ground, causing it to shatter around his feet. "You fucking left me! You fucking left me and took your sweet fucking time to come back and now you're leaving me _again_?!"

Craig stared at Clyde in shock. Tears were streaming down the brunette's flushed cheeks, which wasn't really a surprise since Clyde was a very emotional person and he cried all the time when he was upset. The tears didn't bother Craig at all; it was the fact that Clyde wasn't wiping them away in embarrassment. He hesitated, feeling a slight tug of guilt, and fought off the urge to try to calm down Clyde's drunken tantrum. He stared at the glass shards; reminding himself that he was barefoot and it would be too much of a bother if he had the bottoms of his feet cut up.

"Clyde," He said carefully, eyeing the other boy carefully, "I know you're pissed…"

"Pissed?!" Clyde shouted, his hands curling into fists and he advanced, the cracking of glass sounding from under his boots, "I'm not pissed," He growled, his eyes desperately searching Craig's as if looking for answers. When he couldn't find any, he decided to voice his question, the one word coming out in a small whimper, "Why?"

Craig broke eye contact, choosing to stare over Clyde's messy brown hair instead, "They need me, dude." He replied.

Clyde looked ready to hit him but continued to tighten his fisted hands while struggling to regain eye contact with Craig. "They?" he croaked, "Fuck them, Craig. Fuck them. _I_ need you. _Tweek_ needs you. They fucking _corrupted_ you. _Kenny_ fucked you over." He reached out, grabbing fistfuls of Craig's shirt desperately before burying his face in the other's chest, his shoulders shuddering as he released a whimper, "Please Craig. Please. I can't do this without my best friend anymore. I just _can't_."

Cautiously, Craig placed his hands on the other boy's upper arms, rubbing lightly in, what he thought was pathetic, attempt to comfort and reassure Clyde. It seemed to work though since the whimpering and shuddering calmed down and Clyde's grip on his shirt loosened and the weight against Craig increased. The brunette let out a soft snore and Craig sighed heavily when he felt the wetness of drool seep through his shirt. He wasn't sure if he should try to drag his friend into the bus or maneuver him to the wheelbarrow he'd been using to move heavy parts and wheel Clyde to his house.

The upcoming headache and lack of sleep told him that it would be far easier to just drag Clyde up the steps and toss the brunette onto Kenny's cot before going to sleep himself. Maneuvering Clyde so that he was face up and Craig held him under his armpits. Scooting backwards, the black haired boy eased up the large steps into the bus, wincing each time Clyde's thighs made contact with the sharp corners of the steps before dragging him down the aisle.

He must've been louder than he thought because Butters stirred and sat up, looking at him groggily as Craig tugged Clyde onto the vacant cot. "Oh, please tell me you didn't kill him," He stated, obviously more asleep than awake. "I don't wanna sleep in the same room as a dead body."

"He's not dead," Craig snapped gruffly, he was tired and starting to get grumpy, "He just got drunk and passed out on me."

Butters looked even more confused but he was starting to wake up a bit, "Why did he do that?"

Craig rolled his eyes, tugging off Clyde's boots and setting them at the end of the cot, "The fuck if I know," He muttered, "He was drunk and bitching."

Butters eyed his friend warily, knowing by now that there was so much between the lines that Craig wasn't saying. That he didn't want to say because he'd rather not trouble others with whatever was troubling him. Butters found it both commendable and really annoying. "What was he bitching about, Craig?" He asked quietly, running a hand through his short messy blonde hair.

Craig shrugged slightly, "I dunno," He replied callously, "Stuff."

Butters' mouth drew into a thin line as he eyed Craig. The boy who was getting the look in question abruptly turned, avoiding his friend, cohort and roommate's gaze, and fell down onto his cot with a 'thump'. Butters scooted off of his cot and neared Craig's cot cautiously. The black haired boy merely scratched the back of his calve with his dirty foot, leaving a trail of dirt on his leg. Butters bit his lip and stepped closer to Craig's cot before staring down at the other boy. Craig glanced up at him from the corner of his eye and rolled over, his back facing the blonde.

"Just…leave me alone, Butters. I'm tired and I don't want to talk about it." He muttered with a sharp edge to his tone.

Butters agreed slightly, a raging headache was setting in and though he'd really like to know why Craig seemed so bother and why Clyde was 'bitching' about 'stuff', he'd really preferred to sleep. He knew a hangover was going to set in by the morning, he and Craig hadn't thought about consuming any Vitamin C until they were halfway through drinking this time, and lack of sleep certainly wasn't going to help the situation. So he let his eyes drift close and hoped to God that Craig was doing the same and not keeping himself awake by thinking.

* * *

A good eight to ten hours later, Clyde woke up and hissed in pain. He squeezed his eyes closed painfully and groaned loudly. There was light everywhere. He wondered that for a moment because he knew for a fact that his room only had one window. He also knew that his bed was plenty softer and there was generally the warmth of Bebe's ridiculously hot body next to him. Then the realization set in and he sat up, groaning some more, before managing to weakly crack an eye open.

Runny a hand through his messy brown hair, he assessed that he was, in fact, inside a bus. On a cot. He was on a cot inside a bus. It was a school bus too, since there was no place to pay and the front consisted of uncomfortable looking pleather seats. The cold of the floor registered on his feet and he noted that his boots were off. The noting made his head pound but the smell of eggs through an open window helped him ignore the pain.

Lazily, he tugged on his boots, deciding that he'd rather not tie the laces before shuffling out of the bus and groaning once again when the unshielded sunlight hit him. Following his nose, Clyde navigated around to the shady side of the bus and was pleased to find Craig and Butters, both giving their own pained groans, hunched over a small fire and skillet. Craig was already stuffing his face with a forkful of scrambled eggs when he noticed the approaching brunette and swallowed.

He sat down on the folding lawn chair the other boys had laid out for him and Butters offered a smile, holding out a plate of eggs. Clyde gladly took the plate from the blonde, offering him a smile of thanks before picking up the fork Craig held out and taking a bit. "Mmm, dude, Butters, this is awesome," Clyde stated, keeping quiet, as he pointed the fork to the eggs as if in reference.

"Totally," Craig agreed, shoving another large forkful in his mouth. "Kenny and I make you cook all the time for a reason."

Butters gave a pleased smile as he started making his own batch of eggs. He glanced up at Clyde secretively, studying the brunette's frown and apparent loss of appetite. He noted that Craig's last sentence seemed to trigger this reaction and wondered if he could manage to coax it out of the brunette.

"So Clyde," he started coolly, "I was sorta surprised to see you this morning."

Clyde gave a terse laugh, "Yeah, so was I." He admitted, "I forgot I came here at first."

Butters nodded wisely, shoving another forkful in his mouth, "So, are you going to stay to help us with the bus?" He asked, ignoring the warning look Craig flashed at him. That look meant he was warm. "The sooner, the better, I'm bettin' Craig and Kenny are rarin' to leave."

Clyde stiffened visibly and the glare Craig was shooting Butters promised a painful death. The blonde was slightly pleased though, because now he knew what was going on. Clyde wanted Craig to stay and Craig…well, he wasn't sure if Craig wanted to stay or go. Maybe he didn't even know himself.

There was a long, awkward silence before Clyde spoke up, his voice quiet but easily heard, "Take me with you guys."

"No."

Clyde stood up, dropping his plate on the chair unceremoniously before shooting a venomous glare at Craig, "Dammit, if you're going to leave again, I'm coming with you, Craig!" He snapped.

Craig thrust his plate and fork into Butters' hands, standing up to match Clyde's glare, "So, you're going to leave everyone, Bebe, Tweek, Token…for a life of…" Craig gave a an annoyed growl, being sure to shoot Butters an extra glare before looking at Clyde again, "You wouldn't be able to handle it." He replied, forcing his usually calm voice.

"What wouldn't I be able to handle?" Clyde argued, "Riding in a bus and living with three other guys? Taking what I need by force?"

Craig grabbed Clyde by the collar and forced the brunette painfully into the side of the bus. "Have you ever seen a guy's head blown off?" He asked harshly, "Have you ever done it yourself?" Clyde stared at him with large eyes and Craig snorted, "Didn't think so. Listen, you're soft. I don't mean it in a harsh way. Dude, that's why I like you, but you just wouldn't be able to handle what we've seen, the way we live." Clyde's large eyes drifted over to Butters, who was watching intently, before looking at Craig with a questioning gaze, "Butters will surprise you." The black haired boy explained before pushing away and rubbing his temples, "Go home, Bebe's probably worried."

Clyde was quiet for a moment before pushing off of the bus, "Thanks for breakfast and the cot," He muttered to Butters before briskly walking quickly back towards the town, visibly wiping at his eyes on his way.

Craig sighed, slumping back in his seat, glaring intently at the blonde next to him. Butters offered a weak smile and offered Craig's plate of eggs back. Craig gave him a lovely view of his middle finger instead.


	10. Catching Up

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_Oh Me Gee! Today is the day! =D Season Premiiiiire!_

* * *

Ike Broflovski watched as his older brother restlessly walked to the fridge, back to the oven, opened the over and peered inside, gave a sigh, and started pacing again. He'd suspected something when Stan had come back to lunch the other day without Kyle and claiming that he had not seen the redhead since leaving with Kenny in the first place. It didn't take an idiot to figure out that the redhead had talked to Kenny McCormick since he came back in a distracted and irritable mood and had stayed that way for the past three days. Ike would've called it the Kenny mood but he knew that mentioning Kenny's name would simply cause a glare that promised death.

Though Ike did wonder why Kenny kissed his older brother. And touch his butt. Ike didn't only find that disturbing but it was bothersome to him that Kyle's face was a pleasant shade of pink, a slight sparkle in his green eyes before he realized what was going on and shoved his knee into Kenny's stomach. He honestly found it fairly amazing that his brother had the ability do such quick and painful actions. He idly wondered if Kyle would teach him how to do some of those moves. Maybe he'd ask Stan first since Stan was a bit cooler about things where Kyle acted more like Sheila Broflovski.

Finally pleased with the darkened meat, Kyle pulled out their dinner and quickly worked to get Ike's plate ready. The redhead had insisted on making dinner that night, stating that Ike did too much of the housework while he was out with Stan. Ike pressed that he was simply pulling his own weight but gave up when Kyle had given him an almost desperate look. It was a look that practically said 'please give me something to do so I don't have to sit and think'. Of course, Ike doubted his brother considered the cooking time where one's mind couldn't help but wander.

Kyle set a plate full of food down in front of Ike before sitting down with his own plate, heaving a tired sigh. Ike picked at his food and glanced at his brother cautiously, "Do you mind if I go hang out with a friend after this?" He asked quietly.

Kyle glanced up at him and then back at his food, "Which friend?"

"That goth kid that always glares at you and only talks to Stan," Ike replied, deciding that his brother probably didn't remember his friends' name, "I think he needs a friend since that friend of his…you know…" he trailed off his sentence, letting his brother absorb it. They both knew what happened, Kyle had seen the suicide scene of Henrietta and it was simply something they didn't talk about. "Anyway, since it's the anniversary…"

"Yeah, that's fine," Kyle replied, standing up to get the glass bottle of milk from the fridge, "Are you sleeping over?"

"Are you giving me permission?"

"To help a friend, yeah," Kyle replied with a mildly distant expression on his face.

Ike looked at his older brother thoughtfully before reaching across the table and grabbing Kyle's hand. He squeezed lightly when he gained eye contact, "Listen, Buddy, do you have anything you wanna talk about?"

Kyle stared at his brother before giving a terse chuckle, "Careful, Ike, your Canadian is showing."

Ike scowled at Kyle, his face pinking as he pulled away and roughly shoved a forkful of his dinner into his mouth. Kyle laughed more when the black haired boy's middle finger rose to share its opinion on the matter.

They spent the rest of their dinner sharing good natured small talk. Once finished, Ike put his dishes in the sink and packed his overnight bag before giving his older brother a hug and setting out to spend the night at his freaky little friend's house.

Ike knew full well that his older brother wouldn't stay home. He didn't know how he knew, it was just a feeling. He wouldn't doubt it if he came home and the house was empty the next morning. And that's what Ike wanted. He knew Kyle had been thinking about Kenny McCormick all afternoon, it was something that was obviously plaguing his brother's mind. Ike knew that Kyle, even for a split second, liked that kiss but felt like he shouldn't like the kiss purely because of how Kenny was acting. And he knew that, if given the right nudge, Ike staying at a friend's house for example, Kyle would go see the blonde again, because, whether Kyle liked it or not, that's what the redhead wanted to do.

Ike was right too because Kyle was in fact pulling on his coat as soon as he'd cleaned up after dinner. Making sure his hat was straightened up; Kyle closed the door and briskly walked towards town. He walked quickly and was pleased to find that the streets were empty.

Slipping inside the dark police station, the redhead continued to try to be discrete. That is until he toppled over a chair and directly onto his face, his legs tangling with the offending object. A light immediately clicked on, a soft and weak glow from the cell that barely outlined Kenny's body. Apparently Stan gave Kenny a tap-light.

"Goddammit, Kyle, do you really want to give me a heart attack?!" He snapped in irritation.

Kyle stood up, wincing at the aching several body parts screamed, "As much as I'd _love_ that," He started, "I didn't intend to fall on my face."

Kenny snorted, "So what?" He asked, "You were trying to sneak into bed with me and spoon?"

Kyle was thankful that the cheap little light wasn't strong enough to reveal his colored cheeks. Kenny was obviously annoyed with him, which he didn't mind if it was compared to the more positive attention the blonde would give him if his blush was caught. Clearing his throat, Kyle carefully eased towards the bars, feeling his way across the room.

"You wish," He snapped back when he felt his fingers finally lace around the cell bars, "I still have some questions for you."

Kyle could barely make out the cheeky grin in the dim light, "Oh? A late night interrogation?" Kenny practically purred, "Kinky." Kyle rolled his eyes and carefully slid down to sit cross-legged on the floor. Kenny followed suit, dragging the tap-light with him and placed it in the middle of the two, his expression looking curious. "Whatcha need to know?"

Kyle shifted slightly before looking at Kenny's shining eyes, "Why?" He asked.

"Why what? There's a lot of stuff I could use as an answer." Kenny replied, a slight teasing tone in his voice. "And if it's about me kissing you again, I already told you…"

"Why did you pull a gun on us? Why are you a criminal?" Kyle cut in with an urgent tone, "Why do you have to make it so Craig has to make a compromise and force us to put you in jail? Why can't you stop being such a Goddamn-"

Kyle was silenced when Kenny reached a long arm through the bars and pressed his finger to the redhead's lips, "I'll answer in order asked," He stated calmly, "I pulled a gun on you because I do that to everyone who isn't Butters or Craig. I'm a criminal because outside this happy little town it's a dog eat dog world and I refuse lie down and die. I'm just difficult and Craig knows that if he and Butters are going to get anything done, putting me in jail is the only thing that jackass could think of so they could succeed. And I can't stop because that's who I am." He pulled his hand away and drew his arm back into the cell.

"So, you're leaving as soon as the bus is fixed?" Kyle asked, internally beating himself when a dejected tone seeped through.

"Well, Kyle, you're not really letting me rob, pillage and ravage," The redhead forced back another blush, "So I kinda have to."

"You could try living an honest life here in town," Kyle suggested, desperately trying to sound nonchalant. He was certainly going to deal with his internal feelings later.

Kenny barked out a laugh, "Kyle. Really," He stated in amusement, "as nice as that sounds, I can't."

"Why not?" Kyle asked, pausing briefly at his annoyed tone before deciding to just roll with it, "What's so hard about actually working for your food and learning to suffer for a good meal instead of just waving a gun around?!"

Kenny shot him a dark look, "Fuck you, Kyle. You don't know half of it."

Kyle heaved a tired sigh, "I was really hoping I could let you out," He admitted. "Despite everything that's happened…I really am happy to see you."

Kenny's expression softened and he maneuvered to lie on his stomach, using his forearms as a pillow by crossing his arms and resting his chin on top, he stared up at Kyle. "Remember that summer when we were twelve? Before all of this stupid shit started?" He asked lightly.

Kyle couldn't help but smile slightly, "Yeah, it was one of the best summers…"

Kenny nodded in agreement, "Remember when you were flailing your ice cream around because you were so into yelling at…" There was a hurt expression on Kenny's face but he forced himself to get over it, "Cartman…for something he said and you smeared some on your cheek?"

Kyle nodded, his face once again heating up, "Yeah, you licked it right off my cheek without any warning," He said, forcing mock irritation in his voice despite the grin planted on his face.

Kenny grinned back, "That's when I started liking you. There was just something about how passionately you spoke. And about how your expression changed into surprised embarrassment so quickly when you realized the ice cream was there."

Kyle gave a slight snort, "The guys wouldn't let it down either," He replied, "I mean, how quick did the rumors spread?"

Kenny laughed, "His mouth was as big as his ass," He replied, obviously refusing to mention Eric Cartman's name again. "Though, if I remember correctly, you didn't really put up a fight after I licked you."

Kyle looked away quickly, "I was just stunned," He replied, "Like earlier. You just have a knack for throwing me off guard."

Kenny's grin faltered and he sighed, "Kyle, tell me something." The redhead's eyes flickered back to Kenny, "If the circumstances were different…would you have given me a chance?" He asked quietly.

Kyle bit his lip and furrowed his brow. It was a serious question, for both of them actually. The redhead ended up asking himself that and was surprised that the answer wasn't throwing him off at all. In fact, his stomach fluttered slightly and his cheeks seemed to simply get warmer. A small voice in the back of his mind called out that he should screw the circumstances, but the logical part of his mind screamed that it was simply not to be done.

Kenny McCormick was a criminal who had no intention to change. Kyle was the law, intent on keeping order in the small town of South Park. Their lifestyle's obviously clashed and their morals most likely did at points as well. It was written in black and white and simply couldn't happen. No matter how much Kyle wished otherwise.

Fuck. When did he start wishing otherwise?

Kenny was watching Kyle curiously, tilting his head slightly to the side as he studied what he could see of the redhead's expression in the dark. Finally, Kyle gave a sigh of defeat, "Yeah." He replied quietly, "Yeah, would."

A weak smile spread across the blonde's face and he gave his own sigh, more wistful than depressed. He looked at Kyle, a sly grin replacing his smile as he decided that perhaps he should cheer up the sad looking lawman. "Hey, remember when I was addicted to cat pee?"


	11. Shot Gun

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_I watched the new epi and…fell in love with the end. Just…yes…yes… And I'm totally in a Bunny mood now._

* * *

The side of the truck bowed down before bouncing back up as he hopped off the side, holding the shotgun in his hands tightly to his chest, adjusting his hat to block down the surprisingly bright sun before looking at his companions. Two tough angry looking boys, much larger and stronger looking, hopped out of the back of the small moving truck and joined his side. Signaling to the driver, a messy haired and equally angry looking young woman, he started towards the town, holding his shotgun lazily over his shoulder.

He was large in build but he'd lost what he now called 'baby fat' over the course of several years. His brown eyes were harsh, sharp and filled with nothing but intelligence and a slight sadness that was easily covered up by more cunning. He wore jeans and a loose red sweater, deciding that in these days, uniformity was just gay and it was hard to work when you were uncomfortable. If the world was still civilized, if it was even civilized in the first place, he wouldn't be running around doing part of the grunt work. He'd be in a suit, behind a desk and formulating plans for his pawns to pull off.

He wasn't at that point yet. He'd just gotten the black market established with a few buyers. And right now, women, girls and young men, feminine men were in demand. Of course his clients had to be goddamn perverts, but a sale was a sale.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," He started, looking at his larger and more built cohorts, "You guys are going to wait here with Shelly while I scope out the town and search out some possible targets. Maybe see how big the population is and perhaps see how big their justice force, assuming they have one, is." He held up a walkie-talkie, "Once I get what I need, I'll call you guys and we do what we do."

They both nodded, quite used to this plan. He simply liked to repeat it, just in case, and since they'd really rather not listen to his bitch fits, they humored him. "Who's got the talkie?" The blonde asked as he swatted a bug away from his uncovered arms.

"Shelly's got the talkie, Trent. She's always got the fucking talkie." The taller brunette snapped with a glare.

"Fuck you, Romper Stomper," Trent spat with an equally lethal glare.

"'Ey! 'Ey!" The shortest of the group snapped, "Save your energy for the goddamn pussies we gotta collect!" They quieted their bickering, Trent instead lighting himself up a cigarette as Romper Stomper glared at the ground. Satisfied that they were going to behave, he tucked the walkie-talkie into his pocket and started for town.

"Hey, Turd!"

He paused, taking a sharp intake of breath at the horrible nickname Shelly Marsh so lovingly used on all three boys. He turned at her, his middle finger flying into the air, "The name is Eric – fucking- Cartman, you stupid bitch!" He snapped.

"Whatever," She called back, "Get me my CD's from my house," She ordered, "And see if there are any pads or tampons!"

Trent and Romper sniggered as Eric Cartman's face grew red, from anger or embarrassment, they didn't know. He looked ready to kill but instead he turned on his heel and stomped towards the town, loud obscenities echoing back to the three he left behind. Trent shot a thumbs-up to Shelly, who snorted in amusement.

Eric stomped down the large hill and into the streets of South Park. Staying to the alley ways, he noted that there were more boys than girls. Wendy Testaburger and Bebe Stephens, if he remembered correctly, were walking and talking to each other cheerfully across the street. Each of them carrying a bale of apples, they talked loudly, gossiping it sounded like, about some sort of lunch and kiss that had occurred the other day.

"Stan told me that when he got to the station the next day, they were sleeping on the floor and holding hands through the bars." Wendy informed Bebe as they passed by the alley Cartman hid in.

Bebe gave an excited giggle and said something Cartman didn't quite catch as the distance between them increased. He noted that Stan apparently worked at the station, meaning that he was the town's lawman of sorts. Cartman snorted at how typical that was and made his way through the alleys, noting every time he caught sight of a girl or girlish looking boy.

Eventually he encountered the side of the police station and climbed on top of the convenient crate that was sitting under a high window. Peering in, he was pleased to find a bright green hat sitting over the fairly attractive face of Kyle Broflovski. He was talking to a younger black haired boy, Ike Broflovski most likely. Both of their heads shot up and looked at something, or someone, that he couldn't see at this angle. Kyle grinned ever so slightly and Ike looked at his older brother with a pleased expression.

Cartman wrinkled his nose, curious to know who they were talking to and what was said to give Kyle such a look. He hated that look, always did and always will. He made up his mind that Kyle was going to be the first one thrown into the truck and marked the highest price.

The crate creaked and snapped, and with a yelp, Cartman fell through the splintered wood and his shot gun falling to the ground and sliding a few feet away from him. "Aw, fucking DAMMIT!" He swore, feeling a spiked piece of wood pierce through his thigh, causing blood to seep through.

Someone obviously heard because there was a slam of a door and the sounds of footsteps rushing towards him. Cartman frantically squirmed to get out of the crate but before he knew it, three bodies stood before him. His brown eyes met nearly black, then green and then blue. All three pairs of eyes looked shocked.

"_Cartman_?"

Cartman clenched his teeth and pulled out the piece of wood that was lodged into his leg, glaring at the red tip before tossing it aside and holding out his hands for assistance, "I'd rather say 'hello' on my feet, Stan." He replied nonchalantly.

Stan and Kyle gave each other uneasy glances before grabbing Cartman's hands and tugging him out of the broken crate. He brushed himself off, straightening out his clothes and eyeing small splotch of blood on his pants.

"Dude, Cartman…" Stan started, trading warning glances with Kyle.

Cartman's eyes shot to Kyle's, who was glaring at him with distrust, "We heard you were dead." Kyle commented dryly.

Cartman snorted, "Who told you that piece of shit?" He demanded, glancing quickly to his rifle. Kyle followed the newcomer's gaze and narrowed his glare at Cartman.

"Kenny McCormick," Stan replied, eyeing the other boy suspiciously as well, "What brings you back to town?"

Cartman froze, his large eyes widening as he started at Stan Marsh with a slack jawed expression. The fact that Kenny McCormick was in town, and telling people he was dead, was…startling to say the least. The blonde knew damn well that he was alive and well. Kenny was there when…Cartman squeezed his eyes shut before glaring back at Stan.

"What? I can't fucking visit?" He snapped in irritation.

"No," Kyle snapped back, "Everyone hates you and you don't have anyone to come back to."

Cartman visibly winced, causing Stan to shoot a sharp glare at Kyle. The redhead returned the glare, refusing to back down. They both kept glaring at each other, obviously challenging each other to back off. Ike looked fairly annoyed, rolling his eyes; he gave Cartman a critical look, studying the older boy before stepping towards the shot gun and picking it up.

"What's the shot gun for?" He asked curiously, weighing it in his hands.

"Gotta defend myself somehow, don't I?" Cartman snapped gruffly, holding out his hand to take his shot gun back. "There're ruthless criminals out there."

Ike eyed Cartman critically, gripping the shot gun tightly, "Are you one of them?" He asked as innocently as possible.

"Of course not, now gimme my gun."

"Because the last guy who seemed like a good guy almost shot my brother," Ike said, ignoring Cartman's command and holding out the gun for Kyle instead. "And I don't think Kyle is going to be as forgiving."

Kyle shot a proud grin at his little brother, taking the gun and examining it carefully, "So, Cartman," He stated idly, "Why's the serial number shaved off?" He shifted the shot gun carefully to show Stan the missing number.

Cartman gave a snort, "Nobody keeps track of that anymore," He snapped, "Besides, it was like that before I found it."

"How'd you find it?"

"How's that your business?"

Kyle and Cartman sized each other up before Stan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, squeezing his eyes closed, "Why don't we go into the station, have some coffee, and talk about this like civilized people." He suggested tiredly. Kyle studied his best friend, noting the bags that were developing under his eyes. He made note to ask Wendy how Stan had been sleeping the past few days. Maybe the drama occurring with Kenny, Craig, and Butters was wearing down on the other young man. "I mean, it wouldn't hurt to have a seat and relax while we do this."

Kyle sighed and nodded, "You're right, Stan," he agreed. "Besides, we can see if their stories clash."

Stan gave a snort and nodded. Kyle was sure to secretly fill in the gaps of Kenny's past to his best friend, thinking it was best if the other knew. They were a team when it came to taking care of the town and knowledge about their prisoner was supposed to be shared. Kyle didn't share the talk about Kenny and his conversation about circumstances, but he was pretty sure Stan picked up on things when Kyle woke up on the station floor, his fingers loosely intertwined with Kenny's and Stan staring down at him in slight amusement.

Stan didn't want an explanation though.

Cartman eyed Stan and Kyle critically, "Their stories?" He asked suspiciously, "Who else is here?"

Kyle snorted, obviously Cartman wasn't listening, or just letting whatever he heard go in ear and out the other. Stan started toward the station, not waiting to see if Cartman agreed to going inside or not. Kyle and Ike followed, Kyle holding the larger boy's shot gun still, and Cartman glared at their backs. They knew he was going to follow them, the assholes.

Tugging out the walkie-talkie from his pocket, he pressed the button to talk, "Give me a half hour and start rounding everyone up in the town square, over."

There was a moment of silence before static reached his ears, "Did you get my CDs and tampons?" A harsh voice asked.

Cartman growled in annoyance, "No, I did not get your goddamn CDs and tampons, bitch! Now don't reply, just do as I say! And how many times have I told you to say 'over' when you're done?! Over."

"Shut up, turd, that's no way to treat a lady."

Cartman took a sharp intake of breath before shoving the walkie-talkie back in his pocket and storming to the police station, cursing the whole Marsh family for being such difficult assholes. But he knew Stan and Shelly were the type of people who'd still get the job done, so asshole or not, he was pleased to know that he had Shelly on his side. She was intimidating and not even Stan fucked with her.

And on this trip, she might actually turn out to be the perfect weapon against the two lone lawmen of South Park.


	12. Panic

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_I can not believe this chapter was being such a damn fart to get out. Like...seriously, yo._

* * *

"I never said he was dead."

Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman shot deadly glares at each other. A smirk played on Cartman's lips as Kenny tightly gripped the bars of his cell. The blonde reached out, grabbing the nearest person, Ike, and tugged the boy towards him. Kyle and Stan made no move to jump and help the boy and Cartman watched them both suspiciously, aware that they were probably on the blonde's side in this whole situation.

"Listen, Ike," Kenny whispered to the younger boy harshly, "Do _not_ fucking trust Cartman. He's up to something, I know it. You need to get Craig and Butters, you hear me?" Ike nodded quickly and sharply and Kenny let go of him to return to sending deadly glares to Cartman, who was happy to reply. "He needs to be in this cell," Kenny pressed.

"He hasn't done anything wrong," Stan replied warily, tired of telling the blonde this, "That we know of." Stan shot Cartman a glare and the brunette simply replied with a knowing smirk.

Kenny made a frustrated noise and looked at Kyle, "Kyle, please…you know he's up to something." His large blue eyes were pleading and the redhead ran a hand down his tired face. "_Please_, Kyle."

Kyle ripped his eyes from Kenny's and he gave a soft sigh, "Kenny, I'm sorry but Stan's right."

"Fucking-" Kenny pushed himself away from bars and began pacing his cell like a restless lion.

Kyle opened his mouth to speak but a loud scream from the street outside managed to rip through the station doors. Without a second thought, Stan and Kyle were running, bursting through the station doors and gasping at the sight before them.

Wendy was kicking and fighting as a large man dragged her to a pen of already frightened looking civilians. She was roughly tossed in, the blonde guarding the door watching the prisoners intently, a gun aimed and ready for anyone who tried to be a hero. Ike appeared next to his brother, giving a gasp before jumping off the steps and running, full speed into the darkened alleys of South Park. Kyle tried to call after him but Stan was flying down the steps.

"Wendy!"

"Stan!"

Stan immediately stopped all movements and a gun barrel pressed against his temple. His body visibly trembling, Kyle wasn't sure if it was out of fear for Wendy or himself. The young woman leered at Stan, her frizzy brown hair tied back in a ponytail, she stood a good few inches shorter than the lawman.

"I wouldn't make any rash decisions if I were you, turd." She stated before snapping at the brunette who was shoving the small goth boy and a girl Stan recognized at Flora into the giant cage, "Make sure he doesn't have any weapons and then toss him in with his fugly girlfriend."

Before Kyle could say anything, there was a loud crack and his best friend fell, limp. Wendy screamed but the redhead was relieved that Stan wasn't shot, judging from the man Shelly was ordering around's position, he'd merely been knocked out with the back of the shot gun. As the man started searching Stan's limp body for weapons, Kyle turned on his heel to run back into the station but bumped into the body of Eric Cartman.

"Tell me, Kahl," the redhead's childhood nemesis purred, "were you planning on going to your faggy little boyfriend?" Kyle reached for his gun but was shoved down the steps, falling on his rear. Cartman walked down, swinging the shot gun in his hands with a grin plastered on his face. "He talked about you a lot, you know," Cartman stated lazily, "He and I were practically fucking _brothers_ and all he talked about how he fucking hoped _you_ were okay." Cartman's boot shoved Kyle's chest down, forcing the redhead down. "Romper Stomper." He snapped and the brunette man who'd been tossing people into the pen appeared by his side, "Take his weapons and put him in with the other pussies. Then take Shelly and start looking for whoever could be hiding."

A wave of panic hit Kyle as his weapons were taken from him and he was shoved into the chain link cage. Ike was out there somewhere, being hunted like an animal with out any way to defend himself. Wendy was holding Stan close to her, sobbing. Bebe and Clyde were both crying silently together as Tweek moved closer to having a heart attack, Token desperately yelling at him to calm down. The noise was deafening but Kyle couldn't hear a thing.

* * *

Ike pounded on the door to the bus desperately, near tears and panting heavily from his run. He watched as Craig stood up from the middle of the inside, Butters' head poking up curiously to look at him, and made his way to the front. He opened the door and Ike scrambled in, throwing himself at the older boy's chest.

"Uhm…aren't you Kyle's little brother?" Craig asked, maintaining his voice of disinterest despite the fact that there was a young boy clinging to him.

"K-Kenny sent me," Ike started, "Eric…Eric Cartman and…everyone in this cage…."

"Fuck!" Craig shoved Ike into the first seat and sat in the driver's chair. "Butters, can this thing run?"

"Yeah…" The blonde started carefully as he advanced towards the front of the bus, sitting next to Ike, "But the breaks don't work. I had to disconnect them."

Craig started the engine, adjusting his hat, "Good enough," He growled before stomping his foot on the gas and weaving the bus towards the town.

Butters squealed and clutched onto Ike protectively before glaring intently at their driver, "Craig! What the heck do you think you're doing?! We're gonna _die_!"

"Or stop Cartman trying." Craig replied, glancing quickly in the rearview mirror before swerving around a corner and towards Main Street. He smirked once he caught glimpse of the crowd of people and the moving truck.

"And how exactly are we supposed to stop?!" Butters demanded, practically cradling Ike's head as if he knew the answer already.

Craig's smirk turned into a grin as he headed directly towards the library. Ike looked up for a moment, issuing a distressed whine for his sanctuary but was immediately covered by Butter's body again. The bus made contact, a loud crunch and the sound of shattering glass deafening Butters' panicked scream. The engine died and Craig grabbed Butters and Ike, dragging them towards the back of the bus before kicking out the emergency door.

"Get the guns, Butters."

"Oh…Hamburgers…" The blonde gave Craig two fairly intimidating weapons and Craig shoved one into Ike's arms, forcing Butters to stare at Craig, slack-jawed, "Craig…No."

"We need all the help we can get," Craig replied, glancing back at Ike, who was looking at the gun in his hands with an expression of horror. Sighing, the raven haired boy snatched the weapon back, "Okay, fine. He'll do the tactical shit like getting Kenny out of the slammer." He looked at Ike, "Think you can do that?" Ike nodded, shakily and followed Craig as the taller jumped out of the back of the bus, "We'll meet you in front of the station."

He watched for a moment as Craig and Butters ran off into separate directions before running off into the alleys. He could feel his blood pumping, his brain pounding with each beat of his heart as he ran. Terrified yells echoed through the town, causing Ike to mildly find it amazing that three or four people could do this on their own. Eric Cartman was known to get the job done though.

With a grunt, Ike shoved the nearly overflowing dumpster behind the station until it uncovered the back door. It defied safety regulations, but his brother and Stan didn't want the door to be known if a situation like this occurred, and Ike was thankful for that. He slipped inside and walked from the station's small kitchen to the main room.

Kenny was shaking at the bars and kicking at the lock furiously when Ike entered. He gasped when he saw the black haired boy rush by, speeding to Stan's desk and rummaging through the doors, "Ike! Oh my God, I'm so glad you're here. What the fuck is going on outside? What happened to Stan and Kyle?! Where's Kyle?!"

Ike wordlessly turned once he found the keys, looking up at Kenny as he unlocked the cell door. "I don't know," He stated, his voice laced with worry, "I ran and found Craig and Butters like you told me. So I don't know."

Kenny shoved the door open before wrapping his arms around the shorter boy, "They're fine. Wherever they are, they're fine. Stay here, I'll be back for you when it's over. And I'll have Kyle with me." He assured, despite hearing Wendy's scream for Stan. Ike nodded into his chest before he let go and ran for the doors. He shoved them open, causing them to bang loudly and his eyes connected with the cold brown ones of Eric Theodore Cartman.

A sly grin spread across the larger boys face as he easily walked up the steps until he was face to face with the blonde. "Well," He started as his eyes quickly scanned Kenny, "I'm sure someone would take an interest in you, but I can't guarantee you'll be sold with the Jew. He's going to be extra expensive."

Kenny tightened the fist at his side, knuckles cracking, "Cartman. Take your lackeys, your fence and your truck and leave these people the fuck alone." He growled.

Cartman snorted, his eyes flickering to the hat on Kenny's head and back to the blonde's blue eyes, "So _now_ you care about other people?" He asked in a low voice.

"Shut up, you fucking murderer."

Cartman barked a laugh, "You're fucked up, Kenneh. I did a good thing." The punch caused Cartman to fall and roll down the stairs. Trent and Romper were by his side immediately, their guns pointed at Kenny's head. The blonde didn't seem to care and he glared intently at the boy he just punched. "Goddammit! You fucking broke my nose!"

"My father was a good man!" Kenny screamed from the steps, everyone going quiet to listen intently, "He took you in! Eric…He took you in without a second-fucking-thought! And you….without a fucking second thought…"

"He was in _pain_!" Cartman screamed back, "He was going to fucking die anyway!" The brunette started pacing before turning to the large cage, his eyes making contact with Kyle, "Kahl, you fucking Jew, listen to this." He started loud enough for Kenny to hear, "Kenny's old man, Stuart, he takes us hunting because we're running low on food right? But he fucking gets mauled by a bear that was going after Kenny. _Mauled_! But he's still fucking alive."

"Shut the fuck up, Cartman!" Kenny yelled from his spot.

"He was in pain. He was fucking suffering. Nobody should fucking hold the insides of their own fucking _throat_ and be able to look so helplessly at their fucking kid," Cartman carried on, pacing but keeping eye contact with the silent redhead, "Kenny was bawling and fucking rambling out of his fucking mind. Apologizing and shit. Holding Stuart's hat and just crying like some pussy. I didn't want to do it. But I had to." He turned at Kenny and screamed, "I fucking had to shoot him! He was suffering!" Cartman turned to look at Kyle again, tears leaking out of his eyes, "He was practically a father to me." He muttered, "And Kenny made this…this fucking big to-do about it that…I got scared…."

"And you ran." Kyle finished quietly.

Cartman shot him a fierce glare before turning to look at Kenny again, walking to stand between Trent and Romper Stomper. "He's a nuisance. Shoot him."

The cracking shots were fired.


	13. Showdown

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

* * *

Kenny McCormick's eyes were wide with shock and mild fear. His breath exhaled slowly as he watched Trent and Romper Stomper's bodies crumple to the concrete street, blood flowing freely from the back of their heads. His gaze flickered up to meet Eric Cartman's, who held the same expression if not intensified. For a split second, Kenny glanced behind Cartman to Kyle, whose face was pale but looking relieved.

The door behind Kenny creaked open, Ike's head cautiously poking out, "W-What's-"

Kenny shoved Ike back into the building, "Take cover," He ordered sharply, refusing to turn his back towards Cartman. Once Ike was safe inside, he glanced at Kyle again. If the redhead wasn't relieved before, he certainly was before.

"Ow! Fuck!"

Everyone turned to spot Shelly Marsh pushing Craig Tucker, bloodied from scratches caused by the glass of the bush crash, out of an alley and towards Cartman, "Shut up, turd! You're in big trouble now!" A grin grew on Cartman's face as Craig and Shelly approached, "He was coming down from the roof of Tom's Rhinoplasty."

"Well, well, Craig Tucker. It seems you killed my cohorts, you fucking asshole." The brunette glanced back at Kenny, "I didn't realize you had a companion, Kenneh." He called.

"That's the thing," Shelly said, Craig grunting in pain as she twisted his arm behind his back some more, "He only had one gun on him. And those shots were fired at the same time."

Cartman nodded fairly knowingly and grabbed the collar of Craig's shirt and accepting the handgun Shelly offered him. He held it to the raven haired boy's head and smirked up at Kenny, "Tell me who else is with you." He barked.

Kenny's eyes once again flickered toward Kyle, noting that the small crowd in the cage was thinning. Butters was fucking good at that whole 'not being noticed' thing. He looked back at Cartman and shrugged, "Craig's not even with me." He replied, "That fucking asshole turned me over to Stan and Kyle."

Cartman gave a fairly annoyed growl and looked dead straight in Craig's eyes, "Who helped you shoot down my men?" He demanded.

Craig winced as Shelly twisted his arm slightly again and he glared at the young man before him. Shelly gave a loud laugh behind him, "Hey Turd, I think he's flipping you off." She stated with a snort, tugging on Craig's middle finger in amusement.

Cartman gave another growl, pressing the gun barrel painfully into Craig's head, "Who's helping you?" He asked; his voice in a low and dangerous hiss.

"Fine! Fine." Craig started, wincing at the painful shoving in his temple. Shit, he was getting beaten up. Shelly was damn near breaking his arm too, "Sh…Shi-he was working from three stores down." He managed to force out, "Couple inches shorter than me…blonde…blue-ish eyes…Fuck, can you not try to pop my arm out of its socket?"

"What's her name?" Cartman snapped.

Craig struggled against Shelly for a moment before glaring at Cartman dead on. "Marjorine." He finally replied with a bemused expression on his face. He figured if the Fatass was going to assume it was a girl, then he might as well humor him.

Cartman's eyes widened in realization and burst out in loud laughter. "_Butters_?!" He howled wiping at a tear in his eye, "Butters couldn't fucking kill a fly!"

"That's because I never had to, Eric."

Cartman's head shot up and he gasped in surprise. "H-How did all of you….how the fuck….SHELLY!" He looked at the woman angrily as she, looking quite surprised, turned her head to study the faces of the escaped prisoners circling them. Wendy and Clyde supporting a groggy, but waking up Stan as Token and the little goth kid held the guns dropped by Romper Stomper and Trent.

Butters stepped out, his gun aimed at Cartman's head and a slightly pained expression on his face. "Gee, Eric, I'd really hate to shoot you…" He smiled as Craig flashed him a concerned look. The raven haired boy was already skeptical about letting Butters shoot down Trent. Butters never killed anyone, never saw he or Kenny kill, and he preferred it that way. The blonde was just too fucking innocent. He was an innocent bystander, hostage actually, in their fucked up little crime family. "But it'd be awful if you shot Craig."

"It'd also be horrible if Stan's sister got shot right in front of him," Token added coolly, aiming at the back of Shelly's dirty brown hair. The goth kid, Ike's friend, followed suit and aimed at her as well, causing a panicked look to cross the young woman's face.

"Wait!" The tight circle parted when Kenny stumbled down the stairs and into the center, glaring at Cartman. "A duel."

Cartman wrinkled his nose, pulling the gun away from Craig's temple, leaving a red, almost purple, ring on the boy's skin. "A _what_?" He asked incredulously.

Kenny shrugged, "You know, guns drawn at sundown." He replied, "Western style. We're not going to stop until one of us is dead, right? So…let's finish it."

"You do realize how gay that sounds, right Kenneh?"

The blonde gave another shrug, "It'll get the job done, and that's what matters, right?" He grinned slightly, "We can take it over the top and do it at sundown."

Cartman glanced at the faces glaring at him, the Butters' reluctant but ready face and finally back at Kenny, a slight smirk playing on his lips, "Fine." He stated, "You're on." He jerked his head to Shelly, "Put their bodies in the truck and we'll stay out of town lines until sundown." He snapped before turning on his heel and marching towards the moving truck.

* * *

"Kenny, are you really going to do this?" Kyle rubbed his temples as he watched the blonde sit across from him at Stan's kitchen table. "This is the stupidest thing I've seen you do in all the years that I've known you."

"Wendy, this pie is fucking fantastic," He told the woman, who was at the stove, before shoving another forkful into his mouth. Wendy smiled at the blonde and he smiled back, mouth full. He then glanced at Kyle, who was glaring daggers at him. Ike sat next to him, shaking his head as Stan eyed him tiredly, holding a bag of ice to his head. "Kyle, listen, what else was I supposed to do? He had a gun against Craig's head," Kenny glanced into the living room where Craig was sleeping on the couch, Butters sitting in the armchair next to him, "How's he doing, Butters?"

"I think he'll be fine when he wakes up," The other blonde replied, "His scratches are cleaned so we don't have to worry too much about infection."

"Awesome, then I can slap him for fucking crashing our house." Kenny stated, his voice still fairly good humored.

"Yeah, but, Kenny," Kyle gave him a desperate look, "What if he…"

"Beats me?" The blonde supplied, shrugging and scooping up another forkful of pie onto the utensil. "Then shoot him down or something….and…I don't know how the fuck you're going to deal with Shelly."

Stan groaned, "She's a fucking unbeatable force."

"You don't seem concerned about dying?" Kyle asked. "I mean, I know you can come back but-"

Butters poked his head into the kitchen cautiously, "Kenny hasn't died in years. We're not really sure if he can still come back or not." He stated; wincing as Kenny gave him a glare.

Kyle stood up, grabbing the blonde's arm and dragging him out of his chair, "We need to talk." He stated in a calm but harsh tone, forcing Kenny out the back door and onto the porch against his will. He then glared fiercely at the blonde, his eyes nearly glowing, "You don't know if you'll be coming back or not?"

Kenny shrugged slightly, "It's more like…a small percentage." He replied cautiously, "I mean, old habits die hard an-"

Kyle's slap silenced him and the redhead glared intensely. "You….fucking idiot," He growled, his voice wavering. He then flung his arms around the blonde, "Fucking…Kenny what if you die? What if you don't come back? You can't fucking…you can't make me feel like this and then die."

Kenny wrapped his arms around the other young man and sighed. He had a good guess at what the redhead meant by 'feel like this' but he wasn't going to ruin this rare moment to learn if his guess was for sure, "Kyle. Listen to me. If I do this, we won't be different anymore."

Kyle pulled away, stepping a few quick steps away, giving the blonde a confused look, "_What_?"

"Listen, Kyle, I'm…I'm a bad guy." He started in an admitting tone, "And you're a good guy. Its there, set in stone, plains as the nose on your face, in black and white." He took off his hat, ruffling his hair slightly before holding the red, scotch declaring cap out to the redhead, "Take my hat."

Kyle stared at the blonde like he was an idiot, "I'm not taking your hat, Kenny."

The blonde waved the hat slightly, "C'mon. Take it." He stated in his most serious tone.

Kyle swiped the hat away, glaring at Kenny, "I heard that story, Kenny. I'm not taking something so important to you." He snapped, his temper rising as Kenny rolled his blue eyes.

"I'll take it back when I'm done with the showdown." He replied, mildly annoyed and glancing out at the already darkening sky, "And that's sorta starting soon."

Kyle eyed him for a moment before sighing in defeat and reaching out carefully to snatch the hat. Kenny let go, only to grab the redhead's wrist a split second later and yanked. Their lips connected, Kenny grinning ever-so-slightly as a soft gasp emitted from Kyle.

Before Kyle could react, negative or positive, Kenny didn't want to find out; the blonde pulled away and ran his hand through his hair. Smirking at the bright blush crawling on Kyle's face, "Good sight to see before Cartman's ugly mug," He commented in a joking manner before awkwardly leaning forward and kissing Kyle's heated cheek. "I ought to get going…"

Kyle reached out as the blonde started down the stairs of the porch, grabbing Kenny's hand and forcing their fingers to lace together. "I'm coming with you." He said quietly.

Kenny stared at him in silence, noting the slam of the front door from Stan's house. They were probably on their way, knowing full well that people in general, especially in South Park, thrived off such drama. Though he couldn't blame him, he did sort of put their fate in the hands of reaction timing. Kyle was right, this was certainly the stupidest thing he's done. Cartman had been able to survive for so long, and God knows people have probably tried to kill him, and there was probably a point where he didn't have lackeys. So the obnoxious brunette must've known how to defend himself somehow.

Shit, he was going to die and Kyle was going to get sold.

And things were starting to look up.

He tugged the redhead's hand and they started walking towards Main Street in silence. Kyle was worriedly watching the sky whenever Kenny snuck a peek at him from the corner of his eye and the blonde couldn't help but heave a sigh. "Kyle.."

"I guess you'd have to stay longer…if you live." Kyle interrupted, refusing to look at him, "I mean, from what Butters told us, your bus is pretty busted." Finally he looked; locking his green eyes with Kenny's blue with a saddened but still slightly hopeful expression on his face, "Maybe…we can make the circumstances work for us?" He asked, "Find a shade of grey between the black and white?"

They made their way to Main Street, Kenny cursing the fact that the town was small and everywhere was within painfully reasonable walking distance. The alleyways were filled with citizens, peering out into the street curiously, Kenny never realized how many kids stayed behind after their parents went…well stupid. Cartman stood, watching with a smirk on his face, several yards away and Kenny gently shoved Kyle away, never ripping his eyes off of his opponent. Kyle stumbled into the same alley as Clyde and Bebe, hugging Kenny's hat closely to him.

"Kyle," Kenny called out, glaring at Cartman, "I'd like that a lot."


	14. Epilogue

_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park._

_Laaaast Chaaaapter!_

* * *

The streets were completely empty and there wasn't a sound to be heard. All of the houses were dark, not a light on anywhere. Kenny was filled with worry as he stumbled towards the green house that was clearly the Broflovski residence. Of course, he could factor that it was the middle of the night as the reason why everything was so quiet and filled with a feeling of abandon, but he was still going to worry until he was sure of what was going on.

The stumbling turned to running, which turned into a thud as he ran into the door, using it as a break. The blonde then resorted to pounding frantically, ringing the doorbell and shouting loudly for Kyle. The living room light flickered on and he stopped, a wave of relief rushing over him as his hand fell down to the door knob. Cautiously, he twisted it and felt his cheeks heat up when he found the door unlocked.

God, he was an idiot.

Opening the door slowly, he peeked into the lit living room and found himself face to face with a tired and annoyed looking Ike Broflovski. "Three days." The younger boy stated before pointing to the stairs, "He waited for you for three days. And I had to deal with him." Ike jabbed his finger into Kenny's chest, "I'm going to sleep at a friend's house. _You owe me_."

Kenny nodded and Ike brushed past him and out into the dark. Tentatively, Kenny closed the door behind him and climbed the stares. Slowly opening Kyle's door, he sighed softly at the site he found. The redhead was curled up on the bed, holding his hat and what looked like a picture frame. He gently made his way to the bed, carefully climbing over Kyle and lying down closely next to him. He reached over Kyle's lanky body and pulled the picture frame out of the redhead's grip. He smiled slightly at the photo that was snapped seconds before he tackled the young man next to him before setting it on the nightstand and slinging his arm comfortably around Kyle.

"I thought you were gone for good," Kyle murmured, surprising Kenny slightly. "I forgot that sometimes you don't come back the next day."

"I was supposed to be gone for good," Kenny admitted, "They kicked me out though because my bickering with Cartman kept annoying them." He sighed, nuzzling into the back of Kyle's neck, "I'm assuming I lost and you guys shot him down."

There was a moment of silence before Kyle shifted to lay on his back and stare at Kenny, "You tied." He stated quietly.

Kenny snorted, "Heh, awesome."

The redhead leaned over Kenny; tugging his hat back on his head before letting his eyes drift down to meet Kenny's blue. "I'm liking our current circumstances. How about you?" He asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Kenny grinned, "Best situation I've been in since I was a kid," He replied before Kyle's lips brushed against him.

Kenny decided that he might be able to fulfill that promise of settling down he'd made with Butters.

The End.

* * *

_Oh shit, I'm done. Okay. First of all, I would like to thank thequillofdestiny, Hot Monkey Brain, The Brat Prince, Dragon of Darkness8705, RangerInBlack, and Zoshi the Confused for all of the wonder reviews! I love you guys!_

_Also, special thanks to mi amiga Speedy-Turtle-91 for giving me feedback and letting me feed you teasing and unhelpful snippets all the time!_


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